- MARIA [SIGHS]: Nick, this was a tragedy, but it’s not why we’re here.
- What, are we fighting the weather now?
- Locals say the cyclone had a face.
- People see things when they’re under stress.
- That does not mean that this is the start to some other big world-ending–
- Who are you?
- You don’t want any part of this.
- ♪ That is all ♪ ♪ I’m taking ♪ ♪ With me ♪
- Gone, but not forgotten.
- Thanks to Kenneth Lim and Vihaan Ramamurthy for their help with that touching video tribute.
- This year has been nothing short of–
- [BLEEP] is crazy. It’s, like, insane.
- Jason. What?
- No swearing.
- It’s the last day of school. We’re good.
- Historic.
- Over five years ago, half of all life in the universe,
- including our own Midtown High… [SCREAMING] …was wiped from existence.
- Then eight months ago, a band of brave heroes brought us back.
- They called it “the Blip.”
- Those of us who Blipped away came back the same age…
- But our classmates that didn’t Blip
- But our classmates that didn’t Blip had grown five years older.
- Yeah, my little brother is now older than me.
- Yeah, it’s math.
- Even though we had Blipped away halfway through the school year
- and had already taken midterms,
- the school made us start the year over from the beginning.
- It’s totally unfair. It’s not right.
- …it’s been a long, dramatic, somewhat confusing road.
- As we draw this year to a close, it’s time to move on…
- to a new phase of our lives. Pray nothing crazy happens again
- Pray nothing crazy happens again because are the Avengers a thing anymore?
- Does anyone even have a plan?
- I have a plan. First, I’m gonna sit next to MJ on the flight.
- Second, I’m gonna buy a dual headphone adapter and watch movies with her the whole time.
- Okay. Three, when we go to Venice, Venice is famous for making stuff out of glass. True.
- I’m gonna buy her a black dahlia necklace because her favorite flower is the black dahlia because of, well… The murder.
- because of, well… The murder.
- The murder. Four, when we go to Paris, I’m gonna take her to the top of the Eiffel Tower, give her the necklace. Oh.
- Then, five, I’m gonna tell her how I feel.
- Then, six, hopefully she tells me she feels the same way.
- Oh, don’t forget step seven.
- Step seven? Don’t do any of that.
- Why?
- We’re gonna be bachelors in Europe.
- Ned. Look, I may not know much, but I do know this:
- Europeans love Americans.
- Really? More than half are women.
- Okay. Sure. But…I really like MJ, man, okay?
- She’s awesome, she’s super funny in a kind of dark way.
- Sometimes I catch her looking at me, I feel like I’ve stood up–
- She’s coming. What up, dorks?
- She’s coming. What up, dorks? Excited about the science trip?
- Hey, yeah. We’re just talking about the trip.
- Yeah, and Peter’s plan.
- You have a plan?
- I don’t– I don’t have a plan.
- He’s– He’s just gonna collect tiny spoons when we’re traveling to other countries.
- Like a– Like a grandmother?
- I’m not collecting tiny spoons. He’s collecting tiny spoons.
- Oh, okay, well… that was a real roller coaster.
- [CHUCKLES] By the way, travel tip:
- You should download a VPN on your phone, so the government can’t track you while abroad.
- Smart… Will do.
- Dude, I think that went really great.
- MAY: When I Blipped back to my apartment,
- MAY: When I Blipped back to my apartment, the family that was living there was very confused.
- the family that was living there was very confused. The wife thought that I was a mistress.
- The grandma thought that I was a ghost. [CROWD CHUCKLES] It was– It was really a mess.
- Thank you all for coming out to support those who have been displaced by the Blip.
- And, of course, thanks to our very own Spider-Man!
- Thank you, Miss Parker, for having me.
- And thank you, you guys, for having me.
- And thank you, Spider-Man. He’ll be right back out to take photos and videos. Thank you!
- That was amazing. That was great.
- That was so cool. I was so nervous.
- I was a little stiff. I wasn’t in the pocket.
- No, I thought you did great. You were a little stiff.
- Uh, yeah, I felt that too. I felt that too.
- It’s fine, fine. Okay.
- Did you get your passport? Yeah.
- Mini toothpaste? Yeah, I did.
- Hey, sorry I’m late.
- Happy. Hey.
- Oh, you look lovely.
- Thanks. You too. Thank you.
- Thanks. You too. Thank you. New dress? Yeah, yes, it is.
- New dress? Yeah, yes, it is.
- It’s a new beard.
- It’s my– My Blip beard.
- ‘Cause I grew it in the Blip.
- It’s a Blip beard.
- I see. Yeah.
- The reason I’m late is because this was misplaced. Can you believe it? It’s enormous.
- Not the amount, the size. The amount’s nice too. They’re generous.
- The amount’s nice too. They’re generous.
- Pepper Potts said, sorry she couldn’t be here.
- I think I’m gonna go change the Sterno under the vegan lasagna.
- Spider-Man, go shake hands.
- Will do.
- What just happened?
- Heads up, Nick Fury’s calling you.
- Nick Fury’s gonna call me? Why? Yeah.
- Why? He probably has hero stuff for you to do. You’re a superhero. He calls superheroes.
- You’re a superhero. He calls superheroes.
- If it was that important, he’d probably call someone else, not me.
- [PHONE BUZZING] Apparently not.
- No caller ID. That’s him.
- I don’t wanna talk to Fury.
- Answer the phone. Why?
- If you don’t talk to him, I have to and I don’t want to.
- Why not? I’m scared. Answer the phone.
- You sent Fury to voicemail? Yeah.
- You don’t send Fury to voicemail.
- They’re calling me. I gotta go. You gotta talk to him.
- I’m gonna call him. I promise, I’m gonna call him. I will.
- You do not ghost Nick Fury.
- I promise you, I’ll call him.
- After my trip. Hey!
- Yeah, hi. No, no, he’s not ghosting you.
- Okay, one question at a time. Are you the head Avenger?
- Are you the head Avenger? Are you the head Avenger now?
- Uh, no, I’m not. If aliens come back, what are you gonna do?
- If aliens come back, what will you do?
- Does anyone have neighborhood questions?
- Sean Winford, Queens Tribune. What’s it like to take over from Tony Stark?
- Those are big shoes to fill.
- I’m gonna go. Thanks, everyone, for coming.
- Hungry?
- [LAUGHING] So sorry.
- I thought you could sense that with your Peter-tingle.
- Please do not start calling it my Peter-tingle.
- So, what’s up? You can dodge bullets but not bananas?
- No, I just really need this vacation. I need a break.
- You deserve it. Mm.
- You know what?
- You should pack your suit, just in case.
- I have a tingle about it.
- Please stop saying “tingle,” May.
- No.
- No. No, I’m not.
- Vacation, yeah! MAN: Can you help me get my stuff up?
- Do you want first shift or second? I could take either.
- Give me the third shift. I took an Ambien.
- I can’t chaperone kids alone.
- Yo, Parker. This is called an airplane.
- It’s like buses you’re used to, except it flies over poor neighborhoods instead of driving through them.
- Ma’am? Hmm?
- He Blipped, so technically, he’s 16, not 21.
- I’ll take that.
- She’s lying. I don’t even know this girl.
- Classic MJ, right?
- Did you know Brad was coming?
- It– It’s so weird.
- Like, one day, he’s that kid who cried and got nosebleeds all the time,
- and suddenly, we Blip back, and he’s totally ripped and super nice and all these girls are after him.
- Not all the girls are after him.
- No, man, they’re all after him.
- [LAUGHING] Yeah. Here. Anyway, on to more important things. It’s a nine-hour flight.
- We can play Beast Slayers the whole time.
- I need help to sit next to MJ.
- [SIGHS] Seriously?
- Yes, seriously.
- What about our plan? American bachelors in Europe.
- That’s your plan. That’s a solo plan. Come on, this is my plan.
- Please.
- Uh, hey, guys.
- Uh, there’s an old lady sitting in front of us wearing a crazy amount of perfume,
- and it’s kind of setting off Peter’s allergies.
- Um, you know, Betty, if you could just switch seats with him, that would be–
- He’s allergic to perfume?
- Yeah, yeah, because, um, it– It makes his eyes water, and he can’t really– Peter has a perfume allergy?
- and he can’t really– Peter has a perfume allergy? Oh, uh–
- From experience, allergies are no joke. I can feel hives breaking out already.
- MJ, stand up.
- Ned, take MJ’s spot.
- MJ, you take my spot.
- Peter, let’s get you out of there.
- MJ: Sorry. HARRINGTON: Zach, Sebastian, you take Ned and Peter’s seats.
- Ned, thanks for bringing this to my attention.
- Your safety is my responsibility. And Mr. Dell’s, but he’s… [SNORING]
- I got it for now. Let’s go, Peter!
- Let’s go!
- Yeah, I have a small bladder, so I took the aisle.
- So did you wanna play Beast Slayer?
- Nope.
- Have you ever played any kind of PC game or–?
- No. Got it. Ahem.
- Did I tell you my wife pretended to Blip out?
- Turns out, she ran off with a guy in her hiking group.
- We had a fake funeral for her– Well, the funeral was real
- because I thought she was dead. Do you wanna see the video?
- Oh, I got a dual headphone adapter if you wanna watch a movie.
- Only if it’s depressing. Or hilarious.
- Oh, you have a dual headphone adapter. We can watch together.
- CAPTAIN: Good afternoon, this is your captain speaking.
- Our flight time today will be eight hours, 49 minutes to Venice, Italy.
- Hey man, did you see Brad and MJ on the plane? They were watching movies and laughing the entire time.
- Dude, don’t worry, okay? I’m sure that’s nothing.
- Hey, babe. Can you hold this for me?
- Yeah, of course. Thanks.
- What was that?
- Uh, well, we got to talking on the plane, and it turns out, we have a lot in common.
- So, uh, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now.
- Whatever happened to being an American bachelor in Europe?
- Peter, those were the words of a boy.
- And that boy met a woman. A very strong and powerful woman.
- And now, that boy’s a man.
- BETTY: Babe? Coming, babe.
- There’s nothing in there. I swear.
- These, no.
- I’m here. HARRINGTON: Wait, wait, wait.
- PETER: I’m here. HARRINGTON: Thank goodness.
- HARRINGTON: Looks like we’re here.
- They’re doing renovations to the place. Getting some upgrades. JOSH: Oh, this is trash.
- That must be the concierge. Okay. BOY: Come on, man.
- HARRINGTON: Everyone, here we are. [MEOWING] Whoa!
- BOY: Wow! DELL: Come on in.
- This place is sinking.
- You mean, “charming.” BETTY: It stinks.
- Okay, everybody, drop your bags off.
- Okay, everybody, drop your bags off. We’re gonna meet at the da Vinci Museum at 3. Let’s go!
- ¡Vámanos! MJ: It’s “andiamo.”
- Andiamo!
- When in Rome, do as Romans do. When you’re in Venice, your socks get wet.
- What’s up, Flash Mob? How you guys doing? I’m here in St. Marco Polo’s–
- This is so much fun. Yeah?
- Three, two, one… say pizza!
- ALL: Pizza! Pizza time!
- Buongiorno. MAN: Buongiorno.
- Hi. Uh… I’m looking for a, uh…
- It’s perfect.
- What? [MJ SPEAKS ITALIAN]
- What? [MJ SPEAKS ITALIAN] The most perfect word. Italians created it, I discovered it.
- What does it mean? It means a million things.
- What does it mean? It means a million things. I don’t know. Get out of my face.
- I don’t know. Get out of my face. I don’t know and get out of my face.
- It’s the best thing Italy created, except for espresso.
- Oh, so you’ve been drinking espresso?
- Hey. German? American.
- A rose for you. [SPEAKS ITALIAN]
- “Boh” is my new superpower. It’s like the anti-“aloha.” I was born to say this word.
- So, what’s in the bag?
- Nice.
- MJ: Whoa, cool.
- What was that?
- Betty! You okay? Yeah.
- BETTY: Guys, we gotta go!
- What is that? I don’t know.
- What’ll you do? My suit’s in the hotel.
- Why? I’m on vacation, Ned! Everyone will see my face. Get them out.
- Everyone will see my face. Get them out.
- Go! Just go!
- Get out of here. Go!
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, no, you don’t.
- You okay? Get out of here. Go!
- PETER: Excuse me, sir! I– I can help. Let me help.
- I’m really strong, and I’m sticky.
- I need to lead it away from the canals.
- The da Vinci Museum. This is why we’re here in Venice.
- Oh, this is it.
- It’s closed.
- What do you mean? Till when?
- November.
- You didn’t check the website?
- Oh, that’s a good idea.
- Oh, come on.
- DELL: Stay low, kids. We’ll be safe here.
- Who is that guy? I don’t know,
- but he’s kicking that water’s ass.
- It’s aliens. It has to be.
- BuzzFeed says there’s a sailor, Morris Bench,
- who was exposed to an experimental underwater generator and got hydro powers.
- You should definitely believe everything on the Internet.
- Spider-Man could take him. What do you think it is?
- You know, being a man of science…
- witches.
- No, no, no. We wanna stay.
- Good thing I packed your suit, huh?
- I can’t believe you forgot it.
- Yeah. Who was that guy you were with? Was that Mr. Strange?
- Doctor Strange, May. Doctor Strange.
- And, no, I don’t know who that was.
- It was a new guy.
- I was trying to help him– That’s my lunch.
- I was trying to help him– That’s my lunch. Don’t eat that one.
- Happy’s there?
- Yeah, it’s Happy.
- He’s here. He came by to volunteer.
- And he’s hanging around the office.
- And he wants to say hi. I don’t want– Hi, Peter.
- Hey, Happy.
- Sorry, I’m working hard here. I gotta do a– A leaflet drop.
- What are you–? Glad you’re having a good time.
- Don’t worry, I’m taking care of your aunt.
- So how’s the plan going?
- There’s been setbacks, for sure.
- Trust your instincts, you’ll be fine.
- I know. Love you. Bye.
- Who is that guy?
- He’s Iron Man and Thor rolled into one. [SCOFFS] He’s all right. He’s no Spider-Man.
- [SCOFFS] He’s all right. He’s no Spider-Man.
- What is it with you and Spider-Man?
- What? He’s just awesome, okay?
- He protects the neighborhood and, you know, he’s inspiring.
- He inspires me to be a better man.
- What’s up, dickwad? Thought you drowned.
- Sounds like his name’s Mysterio.
- “L’uomo del misterio” is Italian for “man of mystery.”
- They don’t know who he is.
- Mysterio.
- BOTH: Cool name.
- BOTH: Babe.
- So how much of that did you actually see?
- Not much. I was running.
- Right. Me too. I was also running…
- away.
- So Paris tomorrow.
- Go to the Eiffel Tower. Should be great.
- Yeah, I read it was secretly built as a mind control antenna to create an army of the insane. Oh.
- It’s my favorite destination on the trip.
- What are you gonna do about the water monster?
- Nothing. It’s dead.
- Nothing. It’s dead. Besides, that Mysterio guy’s all over it.
- Look, I just wanna spend time with MJ.
- We were talking about Paris, and I think she really likes me.
- That’s nice.
- Reminds me of when Betty and I fell in love. I had just finished my fruit cobbler, and…
- You’re a very difficult person to contact, Spider-Man.
- You’re Nick Fury.
- And you just shot Ned.
- FURY: It’s a mild tranquilizer. He’ll be all right.
- So good to finally meet you.
- I saw you at the funeral, I didn’t think that was a good time to exchange numbers.
- No, that would’ve been inappropriate.
- That’s what I just said. Right.
- The important thing is, you’re here.
- I tried to bring you here. You avoided me, and now you’re here.
- What a coincidence.
- Wait. Was this a coincidence?
- I used to know everything.
- Then I come back five years later, and now I know nothing.
- No intel, no team.
- And a high school kid is dodging my calls.
- Here’s what I do know:
- A week ago, a village in Mexico was wiped out by a cyclone.
- Witnesses say that cyclone had a face.
- Three days later, a similar event in Morocco. A village was– [KNOCKING]
- Just making the rounds.
- See if anyone needs any counseling after today’s traumatic events.
- No, we’ll be okay. We’re fine. Thank you.
- Great because I’m– I’m not qualified to actually–
- Oh, he’s passed out.
- I’m not qualified to do it anyway, so good night.
- That was my teacher. Sorry about that.
- You were saying?
- A village was destroyed by what may well be another world-threatening–
- BETTY: Babe, you still awake? You’re not answering any of my texts.
- Um, he’s asleep, Betty.
- BETTY: Oh, already?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. BETTY: Okay.
- That’s why it’s imperative–
- DELL: Hey, boys. So that canal water today was filled with dangerous bacteria…
- Another person touches that door, we are going to attend another funeral.
- Suit up. DELL: Let me know if
- Suit up. DELL: Let me know if either of you develop vomiting.
- Stark left these for you.
- Really?
- “Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.”
- Stark said you wouldn’t get that because it’s not a Star Wars reference.
- You can lose the mask. Everyone here has seen you without it.
- You’d only be feigning anonymity and breathing through spandex for no good reason.
- Come on.
- Over there, we have Maria Hill.
- That is Dimitri. [GUN COCKS]
- And this is Mr. Beck.
- Mysterio?
- What?
- Doesn’t matter. It’s what my friends have been calling you.
- Well, you can call me Quentin.
- You handled yourself well out there today. I saw what you did with the tower.
- We could use someone like you on my world.
- Thanks.
- I’m sorry. Your world?
- Mr. Beck is from Earth.
- Just not yours.
- BECK: There are multiple realities.
- This is Earth Dimension 616. I’m from Earth 833.
- I’m sorry, you’re saying there’s a multiverse? ‘Cause I thought that was theoretical.
- That changes how we understand the initial singularity.
- We’re talking about an eternal inflation system.
- How does that even work with all the quantum–?
- It’s insane.
- S-sorry. It’s really cool.
- Don’t ever apologize for being the smartest one in the room.
- [SCOFFS] Anyway…
- They were born in stable orbits within black holes.
- Creatures formed from the primary elements: Air, water, fire, earth.
- The Science Division had a technical name.
- We just called them Elementals.
- Versions of them exist across our mythologies.
- Turns out, the myths are real.
- Like Thor.
- Thor was a myth, now I study him in my physics class.
- These myths are threats.
- They first materialized on my Earth many years ago. We mobilized and fought them,
- but with each battle, they grew, got stronger.
- I was part of the last battalion left trying to stop them.
- All we did was delay the inevitable.
- The Elementals are here now, attacking the same coordinates. Our satellites confirm it.
- So thank Mr. Beck for destroying the other three. There’s only one left: fire.
- The strongest of them all. The one that destroyed my Earth.
- It’s the one that took my family.
- I’m sorry.
- And it will be in Prague in approximately 48 hours.
- We have one mission: kill it.
- And you’re coming with us.
- I’m sorry, did you say Prague? Heh.
- Mr. Fury, this all seems like bigtime,
- you know, huge superhero kind of stuff.
- And, I mean, I’m just a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, sir.
- Bitch, please. You’ve been to space.
- I know, but that was an accident. There’s gotta be someone else you can use.
- What about Thor? Off-world.
- Okay, um, Doctor Strange.
- Unavailable. Captain Marvel.
- Don’t invoke her name.
- Sir, look, I really wanna help. I do. If my aunt finds out I left my class trip, she’ll kill me.
- If I’m seen in Europe after the Washington Monument, my class will figure out who I am, and then–
- my class will figure out who I am, and then–
- Then the whole world will figure out who I am, then I’m done.
- Okay. I understand.
- I’m sorry, what?
- Why don’t you get back before your teachers miss you and become suspicious.
- Dimitri. Take him back to the hotel, please.
- Yes.
- Thank you, Mr. Fury.
- And, uh, good luck.
- See you, kid.
- Yeah, see you.
- Bye, ma’am. MARIA: Yeah.
- Okay, drink lots of water. I’m gonna get you a vitamin C pill.
- You cannot get sick, okay? Okay. Thanks, baby.
- Hey, man, are you sure you’re good?
- Oh, dude, I’m fine. Okay. Nice. Don’t worry.
- Seriously, getting tranq’d in the neck by Nick Fury, probably the coolest thing to ever happen to me.
- It is pretty awesome. Yeah.
- I’m happy I don’t have to go to Prague.
- Seriously. Good news. We’re going to Prague. Huh?
- Yeah. Tour company called. They upgraded us.
- You should’ve heard me on the phone with them. I really gave them hell.
- All I heard was crying.
- Look at our upgraded ride. Huh? Whoa, bro, you see that?
- It’s pretty sick. I’m impressed, Mr. Harrington. Oh, come on.
- Peter, what–? What’s going on?
- I think Nick Fury just hijacked our summer vacation.
- I’m, uh, Mr. Harrington to the kids…
- BOY: Oh, all right. Okay.
- Awesome.
- Yeah. Awesome.
- Yo, what’s up, Flash Mob? It’s your boy, the Big F,
- cruising through the Alps with my private driver, Dimitri.
- “For the next Tony Stark, I trust you.
- Say EDITH.”
- EDITH: Stand by for retinal and biometric scan.
- Retinal and biometric scan accepted.
- Hello? EDITH: Hello, Peter. I am EDITH, Tony Stark’s
- augmented-reality security and defense system.
- So he made you for me? EDITH: No. But you have access
- So he made you for me? EDITH: No. But you have access to all of Tony’s protocols. Cool.
- EDITH: Would you like to see what I can do?
- EDITH stands for “Even dead, I’m the hero.”
- Tony loved his acronyms. [CHUCKLES] Yeah, he did. EDITH: I have access to
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah, he did. EDITH: I have access to
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah, he did. EDITH: I have access to the entire Stark Global Security network,
- including multiple defense satellites,
- as well as back doors to all major telecommunication networks.
- Is MJ texting?
- No. Don’t look at it. Don’t look at it. That’s wrong. That’s wrong.
- Petrol and toilets. Ten minutes!
- Flash Mob, this is what we doing out here… Toilet, toilet, toilet. Which way to the toilet?
- Ten minutes, everyone.
- Dimitri, where exactly are we?
- Okay. I’ll figure it out. Oh, my gosh, it’s so scenic. It’s beautiful.
- Hello.
- Close the door.
- I’m Peter Parker.
- Take off your clothes.
- Excuse me? You told Fury Spider-Man cannot be seen in Europe.
- So I made you this, another suit.
- Oh, uh, thank you.
- I’m sure it fits fine. I don’t need to try–
- Take off your clothes. Okay.
- It’s a little embarrassing. Now. Hurry up.
- This is weird. Heh.
- No, no, no. Don’t– Whoa.
- Sorry. I thought this was the bathroom. This is not what it looks like.
- This is not what it looks like.
- Just– Yeah.
- What are you doing? I’ll leave you alone.
- Oh, my God. Don’t shoot anybody.
- Brad? It’s not what it looks like, buddy.
- Hey, man, look, that’s… Look, Peter, I’m not here to judge your life choices, dude.
- If you want to hook up with some random European chick, that’s on you. That’s not what that was.
- that’s on you. That’s not what that was.
- I can’t pretend I didn’t see what I saw.
- I know you’re trying to get with MJ. It’s obvious.
- But I like her too. Wait a minute. Hey, hey.
- But I like her too. Wait a minute. Hey, hey. You cannot show her that photo, dude.
- I’m sorry, man. I have to. She deserves the truth.
- Okay, put your one foot in front of the other, and, everybody, back on the bus.
- HARRINGTON: It’s been 10 minutes. Let’s go!
- EDITH? EDITH: Hello, Peter.
- How can I help you? Hey. There’s this guy
- How can I help you? Hey. There’s this guy in my class who’s gonna ruin everything–
- EDITH: Peter, I’m having difficulty hearing you. Can you please speak up?
- Um, Brad Davis. He has a photo of me.
- EDITH: Brad Davis. Is he a target?
- Is Brad a target? Um…
- Yeah. He’s a target. He’s a target.
- EDITH: Copy that. Target is Brad Davis. Initiating strike.
- Target is Brad Davis. Initiating strike. Initiating what, now?
- Initiating what, now?
- EDITH: Intercept point determined. Releasing kill vehicle. EDITH.
- Oh, my God. Dope glasses, Parker.
- Oh, my God. Dope glasses, Parker. How’d you pay for these? Flash, give them back.
- How’d you pay for these? Flash, give them back.
- I’m paying you a compliment. Please give me–
- I’m so sorry.
- EDITH, don’t kill Brad.
- EDITH: Do you want me to cancel the drone strike on Brad Davis?
- Did you just punch Flash? No.
- EDITH: Firing.
- Oh, look out!
- Hey, this is not the autobahn!
- EDITH. DELL: Harrington!
- EDITH: Commencing second strike.
- Peter. Plant your fanny and buckle up.
- Look at the baby mountain goats!
- Baby mountain goats? DELL: Ooh, I see them.
- I don’t see any mountain goats.
- [PANTING] You missed them.
- I know you think none of us have noticed, Peter…
- What?
- …but your new look, I love it.
- Right, babe? Thanks.
- NED: Yeah. Sophisticated, classy, very European.
- Oh, man.
- Let’s try that again.
- BRAD: Uh, this is so weird. It was right here on my phone.
- I-I– Yeah. Weird.
- BOY: Whoa, freaking beautiful. GIRL: This is amazing.
- Wow, this place is so classy.
- Yeah, so why are we here?
- Speak for yourself. [CHUCKLES] I’m home.
- What can I say? The squeaky wheel gets the upgrade grease.
- Everyone get settled in, rest up because tonight, big surprise, is Prague’s annual… [PHONE BUZZES]
- is Prague’s annual… [PHONE BUZZES] …Carnival of Lights. BOY: Yeah!
- Hello? MARIA: Parker, it’s Hill.
- There’s an earpiece with your suit. Put it on and await further instructions. Understood? Uh, yes, ma’am.
- Understood? Uh, yes, ma’am.
- MARIA: Yeah. Hey, man. Hey. Look, I am so sorry
- Hey. Look, I am so sorry if I seem like I’m preoccupied with my relationship.
- I’m still your guy in the chair.
- No, it’s all good. Don’t worry about it.
- Okay. Great, great. It’s fine.
- So, what’s the status on the Elemental thing? Where’s it gonna happen? Uh, here in the city.
- Where’s it gonna happen? Uh, here in the city.
- Peter, we’re here. I know, I know. It’s not good.
- Peter, we’re here. I know, I know. It’s not good. It’s– I’m figuring it out.
- You have to do something, Peter, please. We’re all counting on you.
- Ned. Yeah. Yeah, babe.
- HARRINGTON: The good news is, we’ve all got our own rooms.
- FURY: Parker? Parker! Yes, sir.
- That thing is going to be here in a few hours.
- Are we boring you? He’s not bored.
- He’s thinking about how you kidnapped him.
- He had obstacles. I removed them.
- They still won’t evacuate the city.
- [SIGHS] Idiots.
- So, what’s the plan, Parker?
- I will be in the cathedral tower, keeping watch for the fire monster.
- When that shows up, I will radio you guys, and then Mr. Beck and I will– My name is Mysterio.
- and then Mr. Beck and I will– My name is Mysterio.
- That’s when Mysterio and I will move in.
- BECK: Peter, listen to me.
- The best hope you have, the only hope, is to stop it here now, no matter what the cost.
- is to stop it here now, no matter what the cost.
- Maneuver it away from civilians if you can,
- but most important, keep it away from metal.
- If it gets too big, it’ll be able to draw power from the Earth’s core.
- After that, there’s no way to stop it.
- Hey, my friends are here. I can’t help but think we’re putting them in danger.
- You’re worried about us hurting your friends?
- You, who called a drone strike on your own school tour bus?
- Stark gave you a multibillion-dollar A.R. tactical intelligence system,
- and the first thing you do with it is try and blow up your friends.
- It’s clear to me that you were not ready for this.
- Fury asked me to come up here and see how you were doing.
- He just– He felt bad about snapping at you.
- Really?
- You guys do have sarcasm on this Earth, right?
- How you feeling?
- I didn’t think I was gonna have to save the world this summer.
- I know that makes me sound like such a jerk. I just…
- I had this plan with this girl that I really like…
- and now it’s all ruined.
- You’re not a jerk for wanting a normal life, kid.
- It’s a hard path.
- You see things. You do things. You make choices.
- People look up to you…
- and even if you win a battle, sometimes they die.
- I like you, Peter. You’re a good kid.
- There’s a part of me that wants me to tell you, just…
- turn around, run away from all this.
- Then there’s another part of me that knows what we’re about to fight,
- what’s at stake, and I’m glad you’re here.
- Me too.
- But you’re worried about your friends.
- Yeah.
- Just always feel like I’m putting them in danger.
- Look, just get them inside and keep them in a safe place for just a few hours.
- and keep them in a safe place for just a few hours. They’ll be all right.
- It’s really nice to have somebody to talk to about superhero stuff, you know?
- Anytime.
- And, hey, we survive this, you’ll have all summer to kill Brad.
- See you out there.
- Scusi. Sorry, that’s Italian.
- Okay. EDITH? Oh, come on.
- EDITH: Hello, Peter. Hey, uh…
- EDITH: Hello, Peter. Hey, uh… I need a way to keep my friends inside the next few hours.
- EDITH: Let’s see what we can do.
- Good news. We’re going to the opera!
- You’re kidding me. The opera?
- Don’t look at me.
- What happened to the carnival?
- This is upgrade living, guys.
- Come on. The tour company just gave us these tickets.
- For free! Do you have any idea how much opera tickets cost?
- No, because none of us have ever wanted to go to the opera, ever.
- Uh, I think this is gonna be culturally enriching for us.
- Thank you, Ned.
- Everyone, this is gonna be, maybe,
- the best four hours of our whole trip.
- ALL: Four hours?
- Guys, I think this is gonna be fun. Seriously.
- I bet now you’re all happy I had you pack a nice outfit.
- Yeah, because we’d much rather go to a four-hour opera instead of the biggest party in the world.
- Again, don’t look at me.
- MARIA [ON COMM]: Parker, do you copy? Comm check, one, two.
- HARRINGTON: Okay, here we are.
- Beat the rush.
- Yeah, the rush out.
- Lucky for us, we got the best seats in the house.
- DELL: Let’s go.
- Hey. I’ll save you a seat.
- You look really pretty.
- And therefore, I have value?
- No. No, that’s not what I meant at all. I was just–
- I’m messing with you.
- Thank you. You’re welcome.
- You look pretty too. Thank you.
- Oh, my gosh! Opera glasses! So cute.
- Oh, my gosh! Opera glasses! So cute. Can I…? Yeah.
- Want to go in on a pair?
- You mean, sit next to each other?
- Yeah.
- FURY [ON COMM]: Are you in position?
- No. Okay. No…
- FURY: Why the hell not? Parker?
- You don’t want to sit next to me, or, no, you just don’t want the glasses?
- I didn’t mean that. Uh, uh… If you go ahead, I’ll go grab us a pair.
- I’ll save you a seat next to me. Awesome.
- A lot of seats, so I’ll be up there.
- FURY: Parker. No, I’m coming. I’m…
- Hey, I gotta go. Could you tell MJ that I’m sick or something?
- Okay. Be careful.
- And Peter, whatever you do, please steer the monster away from the opera house.
- Yeah, Ned, I know. Okay. Okay?
- Yeah. Gotta go.
- FURY: Parker! You better be on your way.
- Coming.
- Where do you think she’s going? To the carnival? Oh, I– I don’t– We should go. Yes, we should go.
- Oh, I– I don’t– We should go. Yes, we should go. Come on, let’s go. Come on.
- Come on, let’s go. Come on.
- All right. I’m in position.
- Uh, as soon as I see something, Beck, I’ll, uh– I’ll let you know.
- BECK: Roger that. FURY: How’s the suit?
- Ah, the suit’s great. It’s awesome.
- It’s a little tight around the old web-shooter.
- FURY: Parker! Okay, I’ll shut up.
- Oh, my God, babe, isn’t this beautiful?
- Yeah, it’s real beautiful, babe.
- What’s wrong? You know, honestly, I just–
- What’s wrong? You know, honestly, I just– I don’t do well with big crowds, so maybe we should–
- I have the perfect thing. Come on.
- Don’t worry, babe. We’ll get away from the crowds, get some fresh air.
- You’ll feel a thousand times better.
- Energy spiking.
- We have seismic activity.
- Okay, he’s here! Beck, are you ready? You know what to do.
- BECK: On your lead, Spider-Man.
- BETTY: No, come back!
- Come back and help us!
- You’re up, kid.
- Wait, wait. Is that…? [GASPS] Do you think that’s Spider-Man?
- Uh-uh. No, no, no. It’s a European rip-off version of him. I actually read about him. It’s not him.
- No, Beck! He’s got the carousel! He’s getting bigger!
- What’s his name? What’s his name?
- Uh, it’s Night– Night Monkey.
- Night Monkey? Yeah.
- Yeah. Night Monkey! Yeah. Night Monkey. Night Monkey, help!
- Save us! What? BETTY: Night Monkey, we’re stuck!
- Oh, no, no. BETTY: Help us! Help!
- PETER: Are you okay?
- On to Plan B?
- Yeah! We gotta hit him with something he can’t absorb!
- I go left, you go right! Now!
- Okay, shoot him! Yeah!
- That hurt him. Keep it coming.
- BECK: Spider-Man, keep your distance.
- PETER: I’m trying!
- BECK: Can’t let him get near the Ferris wheel.
- PETER: Okay. I’m on it!
- PETER: Whoa, what is that?!
- PETER: That’s it! Nice! Nice! You got him!
- No, no, no.
- It’s too late.
- Whatever happens…
- I’m glad we met.
- Beck, what are you doing?
- What I should have done last time.
- Beck, don’t do it!
- Beck!
- Mr. Beck?
- Oh, thank God.
- I would totally kiss you, but I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
- I might have a mint.
- So it’s over?
- That was the last of them.
- But not the last threat we’ll ever face.
- We need to stay vigilant.
- There’s a void in this world for someone like you.
- Hill and I are going to Europol headquarters in Berlin tomorrow.
- You should join us.
- Thank you. I just might take you up on that.
- [SIGHS] You got gifts, Parker, but you didn’t wanna be here.
- Mr. Fury, I– I’d love to have you in Berlin too.
- But you got to decide whether you’re going to step up or not.
- Stark chose you. He made you an Avenger.
- I need that.
- The world needs that.
- Maybe Stark was wrong.
- Was he?
- The choice is yours.
- Let’s get a drink.
- I’m not 21.
- Hey.
- You gotta celebrate. We did something good tonight.
- Yeah.
- Fury was right.
- Tony did a lot for me… so I owe it to him, to everybody.
- Do you?
- Yeah. I mean…
- Mr. Stark gave me the chance to be more. He wanted me to be better than him.
- And Fury just wants me to live up to that.
- What do you want, Peter?
- What do you mean? What do you want?
- [SCOFFS] I don’t know.
- What do you want? Peter Parker. Now. I know you’re thinking about it.
- I wanna go on my trip, right? I want to go back on my trip with my friends.
- And go to the top of the Eiffel Tower
- with the girl who I really like and tell her how I feel…
- and give her a kiss. Whoa.
- You’re not gonna do that, are you?
- No, I can’t. Why not?
- Because I have too much of a responsibility.
- Oh, my God. Thank you so much. What are those?
- Oh, my God. Thank you so much. What are those? Are those the–? EDITH glasses, yeah.
- Are those the–? EDITH glasses, yeah.
- They were just on the floor?
- Try them on. Let’s see how they look. Yeah? Yeah.
- I actually really like them.
- Can I be completely honest?
- Please.
- They look really stupid. Oh.
- But maybe they have a contact-lens version.
- You try them on.
- [CHUCKLES] No, come on. Try them on.
- [CHUCKLES] No, come on. Try them on. I don’t wanna try them on. Just put them on.
- I don’t wanna try them on. Just put them on.
- What do you think, kid?
- [SOFTLY] “Next Tony Stark, I trust you.”
- [NORMALLY] “For the next Tony Stark, I trust you.”
- What?
- Stark left me a message with those glasses: “For the next Tony Stark, I trust you.”
- I’m still not following. How many lemonades have you had?
- He knew every mistake I ever made. He must’ve known I wasn’t ready for something like this.
- Why would he give it to you?
- Maybe he didn’t trust me to have EDITH, he just trusted me to pick who should.
- It makes much more sense. He knew I’d do what’s right.
- He’s not gonna give them to Fury because Fury would give himself EDITH.
- You’re probably right.
- Right, so the world needs the next Iron Man.
- And it’s not me. I’m a 16-year-old kid from Queens.
- It needs to be an adult with some experience and that’s good like Tony Stark, like you.
- No. Peter, come on. No.
- EDITH? EDITH: Hello, Peter.
- I’d like to transfer your control over to Quentin Beck.
- Peter, what are you doing? Doing the right thing.
- EDITH: Any transfer will require confirmation.
- Stark gave you the glasses.
- Stark gave me a choice. It’s my choice to make. I’m gonna make it.
- You’re a soldier, a leader. You stopped the Elementals.
- You saved my life. You saved the world, okay?
- He’d want you to have them.
- EDITH: Waiting for confirmation.
- Confirm.
- Welcome to the Avengers.
- They look good on you.
- Thank you.
- It’s an honor.
- Yeah.
- Mr. Stark would’ve really liked you.
- Where you headed? I’m gonna go find MJ.
- Good luck, kid. I’ll give you a fifty-fifty chance. You’re pretty awkward.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah. See you later, man. See you.
- See you later, man. See you.
- See? That wasn’t so hard. Yes! [ALL CHEERING]
- Somebody get this stupid costume off me!
- Okay, we got EDITH. Get these connected to our system.
- Okay, we got EDITH. Get these connected to our system. ALL [CHANTING]: Toast! Toast! Toast!
- This is a big win, but we still got a lot of work to do.
- Toast! Toast! Toast! MAN: Yeah!
- Okay, toasts!
- Give me that, Doug.
- To the man who brought us all together, our former boss, Tony Stark.
- ALL: Boo!
- The jester king.
- Literally wrapped in wealth and technology
- that he was unfit to wield.
- Like the holographic system I designed. A revolutionary breakthrough with limitless applications that Tony turned
- with limitless applications that Tony turned into a self-therapy machine and renamed–
- Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing, or BARF.
- Oh, $611 million for my little therapeutic experiment.
- BECK: He renamed my life’s work…
- “BARF.”
- I told him it was a mistake,
- that my technology could change the world.
- And then…
- he fired me.
- Said I was…
- unstable.
- To Tony.
- ALL: To Tony!
- Next, to William.
- ALL: William!
- Tony Stark was able to build this in a cave!
- With a box of scraps!
- BECK: The integration of my illusion tech with your weaponized drones was brilliant.
- Powerful illusions, real damage, worked like a charm. And it’s just the beginning.
- Thank you, brother. To Guterman.
- WOMAN: Guterman! MAN: To Guterman!
- The story you created of a soldier from another Earth named Quentin
- fighting space monsters in Europe is totally ridiculous
- and apparently the kind of thing people will believe right now. I mean, everybody bought it.
- MAN 1: Gutes! MAN 2: Guterman!
- To Victoria. ALL: To Victoria!
- Staging electromagnetic pulses at each attack site so Fury’s own satellites would confirm our lies.
- Inspired idea.
- To Janice. ALL: Janice!
- After Tony died, she was the one who discovered that EDITH was being handed over not to us, not to the Defense Department,
- was being handed over not to us, not to the Defense Department, but to a child.
- Thank you. MAN 3: To Janice!
- And to the rest of you, Tony Stark is gone.
- There’s a window of opportunity, and someone will step up.
- But these days, you can be the smartest guy in the room, the most qualified, and no one cares.
- Unless you’re flying around with a cape or shooting lasers from your hands,
- no one will even listen.
- Well, I’ve got a cape and lasers.
- With our technology and with EDITH,
- Mysterio will be the greatest hero on Earth! ALL: Yeah!
- Then everyone will listen!
- Not to a boozy man-child. ALL: No!
- Not to a hormonal teenager. ALL: No!
- To me…
- and to my very wealthy crew.
- To us.
- ALL: To us.
- To Mysterio!
- ALL: To Mysterio!
- To Peter Parker.
- ALL: To Peter Parker!
- Poor kid.
- Let’s get to work.
- Peter, oh, my God. Hey. Hey. We almost died.
- It’s fine. It’s fine.
- Hey, I’m done with the mission.
- Dude, the trip’s over. What?
- There’s monsters coming out of the ground. Of course our parents want us home.
- Don’t put me on hold. Peter, you’re not dead.
- Don’t put me on hold. Peter, you’re not dead. Oh, my God. Yes, good. Stay here. Don’t– Put some clothes on. We’re booking flights.
- Don’t– Put some clothes on. We’re booking flights. We came for science, we’re leaving because of witches.
- We came for science, we’re leaving because of witches.
- Welcome to the new Dark Ages.
- What is going on? We’re going home in the morning.
- No, no, no. All the Elementals are gone.
- Ned. Coming, sweetie.
- Hey, can you guys keep it down? I’m live-streaming.
- Hey. Where were you?
- Um, I got lost.
- We were worried about you. Oh.
- Good thing you’re back. Hm.
- So much for Paris, right?
- It would’ve been fun.
- Yeah. Night.
- Night.
- You look ni–
- Uh, look, um… I’m not ready for this trip to be over yet,
- and I kind of want to do something fun that’s not on the itinerary or planned
- or with Mr. Harrington.
- Yes.
- “Yes,” like you wanna go?
- Yes.
- Awesome. I’ll see you outside in 10 minutes.
- Meet me outside in five minutes.
- Five is good. Okay.
- Okay, bye. Bye. Heh.
- Night Monkey, help us! Help! Night Monkey!
- Hey. Hey. So where do you wanna go?
- Who cares? Awesome.
- Okay. Let’s go.
- PETER: I’m glad we’re doing this.
- MJ: Yeah, me too. PETER: To see the city a bit.
- They used to execute people on this bridge.
- Oh. They would put them in a basket, and they would drown in the water.
- Sorry. It’s okay.
- There’s this thing I’ve been wanting to talk to you about for a while.
- It’s our last night in Europe, and I had this plan that I wanted to tell you.
- [STAMMERING] I’m just gonna tell you. Uh…
- MJ, I–
- “I’m Spider-Man.”
- What? That’s what you were gonna say.
- What? That’s what you were gonna say. That you’re Spider-Man.
- No. I’m not Spider-Man.
- I mean, I’ve been watching you for a while now. It’s kind of obvious. Heh.
- I’m not Spider-Man. What would make you think that I was Spider-Man?
- Peter, Washington? Yeah?
- The fact that you disappear out of nowhere for no reason.
- No, I was sick. Remember? I had my– The tummy? Susan Yang thinks
- I had my– The tummy? Susan Yang thinks you’re a male escort. What?
- you’re a male escort. What? Of course I’m not a male escort. Then you’re Spider-Man.
- Of course I’m not a male escort. Then you’re Spider-Man.
- No, I’m not Spider-Man at all. What about tonight?
- No, I’m not Spider-Man at all. What about tonight? You snuck off and fought that thing. I saw you.
- You can’t have seen me because I’m not Spider-Man. Also, on the news, it was the Night Monkey.
- The Night Monkey? Yeah.
- That’s what it said on the news, and the news never lies.
- Night Monkey. Okay.
- What are you doing?
- Well, do the Night Monkey and Spider-Man use the same webs?
- I mean, maybe. Maybe he’s a Spider Monkey. Who knows?
- Were you only watching me because you thought I was Spider-Man?
- Yeah.
- Why else would I be watching you?
- Doesn’t matter. Just thought that maybe–
- What the hell was that?
- I don’t know.
- What is it, some kind of projector or something?
- Yeah, but it’s really advanced.
- It– It looked so real.
- It… Yeah, really real.
- Wait, does that mean that–? The Elementals are fake?
- That doesn’t make any sense because we were there, right?
- There was fire and destruction, and…
- Who would do something like that?
- Mysterio.
- I am Spider-Man.
- And I’ve really messed up.
- Wait. You’re b-being serious right now?
- Mm-hm. You’re 100 percent serious? Because it’s not funny. No, I’m not joking.
- Because it’s not funny. No, I’m not joking.
- Because I was only like 67 percent sure.
- MJ– So why are you here? Why are you on this school trip?
- I know you have a lot of questions, but we have to get out of here, okay?
- Okay. Okay. I can’t believe I figured it out!
- MYSTERIO: You took everything from me!
- This is for my family!
- BECK: Pause.
- Pause.
- WILLIAM: Uh– Sorry.
- Yeah, can you just fast-forward to the end?
- Yep. Stand by.
- All right, fly, fly, fly, zap, zap, zap.
- Pause. I’m not in love with this choreography,
- Pause. I’m not in love with this choreography, but it’ll do.
- Kill image.
- De-cloak drones.
- All right, weapons.
- You want to weaponize? Yep.
- Weapons only. Stand by.
- Nice.
- Stop.
- Something. I don’t know what it is. It’s something–
- Just dou– You know what?
- Double the damage and then run it again.
- You want me to double it up?
- Yeah. All right.
- Cover your ears.
- Whoo! That is good! That’s good.
- We on schedule? Oh, yeah.
- Uploading software hack to EDITH network.
- With her drones, we’ll create an event big enough to cover an entire city.
- Well done. Make sure every drone is weapons-hot. We need maximum damage.
- Gonna cause a lot of casualties. Oh, yeah.
- More casualties, more coverage. Gotta cut through the static.
- London’s a beautiful city, it’ll suffer, but they can rebuild. If I’m the next Iron Man,
- but they can rebuild. If I’m the next Iron Man, I need to save the world from an Avengers-level threat.
- I need to save the world from an Avengers-level threat.
- But when its new savior descends,
- all those casualties will be forgotten.
- Janice, be in position with my quick-change armor for the victory lap? Of course.
- for the victory lap? Of course. You wanna try–? No, that’s–
- You wanna try–? No, that’s–
- What’s going on with my hand? Why is that happening?
- Oh, one of the drones that came back from the plaza was missing a projector. It’s fine.
- Wait, and you’re–? You’re telling me this now?
- It’s one drone. The image will be perfect, I promise.
- That projector is evidence. It’s gonna tell people what we’re doing and how we’re doing it.
- I am trying to fool 7 billion people here, including Nick Fury, who happens to be the most paranoid
- including Nick Fury, who happens to be the most paranoid and most dangerous person on the planet.
- If he catches on before I’ve killed him, he will put a bullet in my head.
- And nobody wants a bullet in their head, right?
- Right?
- William, can you look at me?
- Pull up EDITH.
- EDITH: Hello, Quentin.
- Hi, honey. I need a level-five search, full-resource protocol for this device.
- EDITH: Magnifying.
- There. Search everything going in and out of that building.
- EDITH: Located.
- Shit.
- You know, William, one day, after I’ve had to kill Peter Parker because of this,
- I hope you remember that his blood is on your hands!
- I can’t believe I gave Beck those glasses. How could I be that stupid?
- He’s probably spying on me right now or sending a drone to come and kill me.
- You had access to killer drones?
- Yeah, I didn’t really want them, especially after I almost killed Brad.
- You almost killed Brad?
- Look, I have to call Mr. Fury and tell him that Beck’s a fraud…
- and tell him that Beck’s a fraud… but I think he tapped my phone. So, what are you gonna do?
- but I think he tapped my phone. So, what are you gonna do?
- I need my suit, and I have to go to Berlin
- I need my suit, and I have to go to Berlin and talk to Mr. Fury in person.
- Oh, Ned, perfect.
- The costume looks great…
- for the costume party at the prince’s castle.
- She knows. I told her.
- He didn’t tell me. I figured it out.
- Oh. That’s cool.
- Like, a long time ago.
- Look, Mysterio is a fraud.
- But he saved me and Betty’s lives.
- He’s been faking the thing with illusion tech.
- Yeah, he’s using these, like, hologram projectors.
- Whoa. That’s crazy.
- Yeah.
- So you guys were working the case together or what?
- It’s been mostly me.
- Ned, call May, get her to call Mr. Harrington, say she wanted me to stay with family in Berlin.
- Got it. Easy.
- Wow, you guys lie with such ease.
- I gotta go.
- Wait, wait, wait. The projector.
- Wait, wait, wait. The projector. You’re gonna need this.
- Don’t tell anyone about this, okay? Anyone who knows is in danger.
- So you know too.
- It’s cool. I’ve known first, and I’ve known longer, but it’s not a competition. Heh.
- Excuse me. Do you know where–? [GASPS]
- Nacht Monkey! No, wait, I didn’t– Oh, man.
- Get in.
- Mr. Fury–
- You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.
- No, no, no, listen. Wait until we’re secure.
- [SIGHS] Okay.
- Right.
- So is there anything you want to tell us about your girlfriend?
- He’s talking about EDITH.
- I made a mistake, I’m sorry, but he is not who you think he is.
- Beck is a liar. Mysterio, the Elementals, it’s all fake. He has some illusion tech.
- it’s all fake. He has some illusion tech. That’s how he tricked you, and me into giving him EDITH.
- It’s a projector. I pulled it off the fire monster in Prague.
- So all that death and destruction we witnessed was created by this?
- No, not just this. I think he’s using drones. Well, if this is true,
- Well, if this is true, then Beck’s very dangerous and we need to be smart.
- Who else did you tell about this?
- Parker? Parker!
- What’s wrong? It’s Beck. He’s here.
- What? Hill?
- No, it’s just an illu–
- Fury!
- BECK: Wow, Peter, wow. [COUGHING]
- I thought we were close. [GROANING]
- Fury always had to die, but not you.
- PETER: Stop hiding, Beck!
- BECK: I tried to help you walk away. Now you’re making me do this.
- You told me, you were just a kid.
- You told me, you wanted to run after that girl.
- MJ: Help me! MJ!
- Peter, what’s going on?
- I know this isn’t real.
- BECK: Do you, though?
- MJ!
- I don’t think you know what’s real, Peter.
- BECK: You need to wake up!
- BECK: I mean, look at yourself.
- BECK: You are just a scared little kid in a sweat suit.
- I created Mysterio to give the world someone to believe in.
- I control the truth. Mysterio is the truth.
- BECK: If you were good enough,
- maybe Tony would still be alive.
- BECK: Deep down, you know I’m right.
- BECK: You made your choice. And all you had to do was step aside.
- And now you have–
- Fury. Unh.
- Beck’s people are trying to find everyone who could expose him.
- Who’d you tell?
- Um… I know you told someone… Um… …so just tell me. Okay. Who did you tell?
- Who else did you tell?
- Just Ned and MJ from my class.
- Maybe Ned told his girlfriend Betty, but that’s it. [LAUGHING]
- What?
- You are so gullible.
- What? You’re smart as a whip.
- Just a…
- BECK: …sucker.
- And now all your friends have to die. Oh, my God.
- It’s easy to fool people when they’re already fooling themselves.
- But for what it’s worth, Peter,
- I really am sorry.
- EDITH. EDITH: Yes, Quentin.
- Access files to Peter Parker’s class trip.
- I need them to fly home from London.
- Hi.
- Where am I?
- Municipal holding facility.
- They said they found you unconscious at the train yard. Very dangerous.
- And we gave you the shirt because you seemed a bit cold.
- Thanks.
- You guys are nice.
- You speak really good English.
- ALL: Welcome to the Netherlands.
- I’m in the Netherlands right now? Yep.
- Bye. Aah!
- Guard! The guard is on a break.
- Guard! The guard is on a break. Probably talking to his wife. Yeah, she’s pregnant.
- Probably talking to his wife. Yeah, she’s pregnant.
- Oh, yeah? Yeah.
- Night Monkey. Yeah.
- You guys okay?
- Excuse me, sir? Yeah? Could I borrow your phone? Yeah.
- Everyone is so nice here. Uh…
- Pick up, pick up, pick up. Hey, hey, uh…
- I messed up. I need a– I need a ride.
- Where am I? Where am I, sir?
- It’s Broek op Langedijk.
- Hang on. Could you say that into there?
- Hi. It’s Broek op Langedijk here.
- Yeah, no problem. Heh, heh.
- Thanks.
- Did you get that?
- Peter? Are you okay?
- Happy, is that you? Yeah, of course it’s me.
- Stop! Tell me something only you would know.
- Only I would know. Uh…
- Remember we went to Germany? You pay-per-viewed a video in your room? They didn’t list titles,
- in your room? They didn’t list titles, but I could tell by the price it was an adult film.
- And you didn’t know how I knew– Okay, fine! It’s you. Stop.
- It’s so good to see you.
- Peter, you’ll have to tell me what the hell is going on here.
- Okay, hold still. There we go.
- Ouch.
- I thought you had super strength.
- It still hurts.
- Happy, come on. All right, relax.
- Just a few more. There we go. Oh, my God.
- Relax. Don’t tell me to relax, Happy!
- Relax. Don’t tell me to relax, Happy! How can I relax when I messed up so bad?
- I trusted Beck. Right?
- I thought he was my friend. I gave him the only thing Mr. Stark left for me,
- and now he’s gonna kill my friends and half of Europe, so please do not tell me to relax.
- I’m sorry, Happy. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t shout.
- I just really miss him.
- Yeah, I miss him too.
- Everywhere I go… I see his face.
- [VOICE BREAKING] And the whole world is asking who’s gonna be the next Iron Man…
- And I don’t know if that’s me, Happy. I’m not Iron Man.
- You’re not Iron Man.
- You’re never gonna be Iron Man.
- Nobody could live up to Tony.
- Not even Tony.
- Tony was my best friend.
- And he was a mess.
- He second-guessed everything he did. He was all over the place.
- The one thing that he did that he didn’t second-guess was picking you.
- I don’t think Tony would have done what he did
- if he didn’t know that you were gonna be here after he was gone.
- Now, your friends are in trouble, you’re all alone, your tech is missing.
- What are you gonna do about it?
- I’m gonna kick his ass.
- I mean, right now. Specifically, what are we gonna do?
- We’ve been hovering over a tulip field for the last 15 minutes.
- Right. I can’t call my friends because he’s tracking their phones. Give me your phone.
- My cell phone? Yeah.
- Okay. Here.
- What’s your password?
- “Password.”
- No, what is your password?
- “Password,” spelled out. Head of security,
- “Password,” spelled out. Head of security, and your password is “password”? I don’t feel good about it.
- and your password is “password”? I don’t feel good about it.
- Hello, governor. Cup of tea? I’m gonna be in London soon.
- They’re in London. London, okay.
- Yeah, I need a suit.
- Suit?
- Okay, um… bring up everything you have on Spider-Man.
- Yeah, open that. Okay, no, no, no.
- What? Nothing.
- You take care of the suit. I’ll take care of the music.
- Oh, I love Led Zeppelin.
- Okay, can you pull up my web-shooters?
- Isolate the Taser webs, and reconfigure and boost the voltage to a factor of 25 percent,
- to a factor of 25 percent, and give me complete manual control over detonation. ♪ Forget the hearse ‘Cause I never die– ♪
- I thought Kree having sleeper cells was top secret information.
- Nick, satellites are picking up an EM pulse.
- I thought that was over. It’s the biggest one yet.
- Where? London.
- Okay, the company set up a city tour,
- and then we’ll grab a bite and head to the airport.
- Is no one else gonna acknowledge how crazy this is?
- Oh, yeah, I get it. There’s been nothing scientific about this science tour at all.
- No, no, I’m talking about Peter. Has no one noticed how shady he is?
- I saw him in the back room of a rest stop with some woman in his underwear,
- and he’s always sneaking away, like back at the opera, huh?
- Now he’s suddenly off the trip, with his family in Berlin?
- Is no one else here interested in the truth?
- “The very concept of objective truth is fading out of the world.”
- George Orwell. Thank you, MJ.
- Yeah. Well, since Peter’s not really here to tell his truth,
- what about you, Brad? Why take pictures of people in the bathroom?
- Yeah, dude, what’s that about?
- No, no, no, it wasn’t like that. It was–
- I was trying to take a–
- Let’s put all this craziness behind us
- and have a nice, peaceful afternoon.
- “Sounds great, Mr. Harrington,” said the class. Okay.
- I’m gonna be a cool teacher right now.
- You gotta stop doing that. It is weird.
- No more photos in the bathroom. Urinal or stalls.
- Okay? HARRINGTON: Look at this. Mr. Harrington, this is your bus.
- We got a bus all to ourselves. Nice to see you all. Come along.
- We got a bus all to ourselves. Nice to see you all. Come along. I’ll get this, yeah? Why not? Thank you.
- I have the kids.
- MYSTERIO: I got here as fast as I could.
- I did a full perimeter sweep. Nothing.
- Damn it.
- Pulse is spiking.
- I’ll take another look.
- Soon as you see something, report.
- You’re all we’ve got, Beck.
- MYSTERIO: If this is what I fear, then God help us, Fury.
- God help us all.
- Okay, no Avengers coming. Good to go.
- William, launch the drones. Copy that, brother.
- Drones are entering the atmosphere weapons-hot.
- Excellent. Janice? Working on the cape.
- Get those wrinkles out. I could be shaking hands with the queen.
- Guterman? Almost in position.
- Okay. Hit it, Victoria. Increasing pulse.
- Whatever this is, it’s 100 times bigger than the previous ones.
- EDITH?
- EDITH: Yes, Quentin.
- Show me my loose ends.
- Once the show’s going, execute the kill order on my command.
- EDITH: Copy. All right.
- Start the show.
- Let’s save the world, people.
- I don’t like this. Something’s definitely up.
- You’re an FOS now. “Friend of Spider-Man.”
- You’re an FOS now. “Friend of Spider-Man.” And you have to remember, just stay calm.
- That doesn’t look good.
- But it’s fake, nothing to worry about.
- And the kids are in the kill zone.
- BECK: Great work, Guterman.
- Happy Hogan here. I know. What do you want?
- At Mr. Stark’s, going through his belongings. There was a surfboard you left behind.
- What? People said they didn’t think Nick Fury was a surfer, I said, “Appearances can be deceiving.”
- Nick Fury was a surfer, I said, “Appearances can be deceiving.” It’s not mine. And don’t ever call this number again.
- HAPPY: Fury’s got the coded message.
- Your friends are at the Tower Bridge.
- Your boy called it London Bridge, but I figured it out. I’ll scoop them up, okay? Yeah.
- We’re close. We’re close.
- How’s the suit? Almost done.
- How’s the suit? Almost done. Good. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
- Good. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa. Before you go, if something happens to me,
- Before you go, if something happens to me, could you please give this to MJ?
- You’ll make it back. Give it to her yourself.
- You got this. I got this.
- Walk me through it. I know it’s illusion tech.
- Walk me through it. I know it’s illusion tech. All I do is get inside the illusion, then I can take it down,
- find him, and he’s just a guy. I can take EDITH right back.
- Right, but last time, you got hit by a train.
- True, but this time–
- How do I explain this? Uh… I have a sixth sense.
- The Peter-tingle. That’s what you’re talking about, right?
- It’s not working, though. I heard it wasn’t working now. Is it?
- It is working. I don’t know if it’s working–
- You got the Peter-tingle. That’s the plan.
- I’m gonna go get your friends. You get that Peter-tingle back online.
- I got this. I got this.
- Cue the lightning.
- Cuing lightning.
- Sir, is it still safe on the top, or should we all come down?
- Oh, my.
- What did the bus driver say?
- Bus driver’s gone.
- It’s okay. Mr. Dell and I have it under control!
- No. Don’t drag me into this.
- I’m doing my best, Julius!
- Look– Oh, the witches are back.
- Oh, my God, get off the bus! [ALL CLAMORING]
- MAN: Okay. Okay, follow me, kids.
- Now, that is an Avengers-level threat.
- HARRINGTON: This way. This way! Okay. Okay. GIRL: Oh, my God!
- MJ: Flash! DELL: Follow that hand.
- HARRINGTON: This way. Follow me.
- It’s not real, it’s not real! It looks real to me!
- HARRINGTON: Follow me, kids!
- DELL: Earth, wind, fire, water. Oh, no.
- DELL: Earth, wind, fire, water. Oh, no. They joined forces like the Power Rangers.
- You’re thinking of Voltron. Who?
- Voltron! You’re thinking of Voltron!
- Hey, look, it’s Mysterio!
- He’s gonna save us!
- Wait, if Mysterio knows we know…
- Then we’re in danger. Yeah, and so are they.
- We should go.
- Kill that witch! Ba-bow!
- MYSTERIO: This is for my family!
- You should get somewhere safe, Fury.
- I don’t see this ending well.
- I appreciate your concern, but I never leave my men behind.
- All right, comms check. Can you hear me?
- I can. It’s a little loud out here.
- I like the new suit. Thanks.
- Whoa, Peter, you sure that’s not real?
- Yeah, it’s just 100 times bigger than I expected.
- Still the play? Uh-huh.
- We need to get high enough so Beck doesn’t see me coming. Copy. Stay sticky.
- so Beck doesn’t see me coming. Copy. Stay sticky.
- Hey, Happy. Yeah, kid. What is it?
- We need to have a conversation about you and my aunt!
- Beck, report!
- I need a response. Something quick and decisive.
- “It’s all the Elementals. They’re merged into something…”
- …into something else. Something more powerful.
- It’s drawing energy from the Earth’s core.
- See, now, that’s some bullshit.
- Is that…?
- Be ready for anything. Yeah.
- It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real!
- That’s awesome.
- William, I’ve got drones breaking formation.
- Maybe they hit a flock of birds. You’re fine.
- I wanna see what’s happening Taking manual control.
- WILLIAM: Do you see anything?
- Yeah. And I’m gonna kill him.
- PETER: I hope this works.
- You got me?
- I got you.
- WILLIAM: Boss, the illusion is coming apart.
- I see you.
- EDITH, give me protection. EDITH: Copy.
- Just kill the illusion. Kill it.
- I’m not gonna. They’ll see.
- They’ll see what I want them to see!
- Do you still need the cape? Yes, Janice.
- I still need the cape. Done.
- Now render my illusion suit. All right, hang on.
- The monster was full of drones! It’s crazy!
- There you are.
- Easy.
- Who the hell is that?
- Ned! NED: Happy!
- I gotta get you out of here! Get on the jet! Who are you?
- Get on the jet! Who are you?
- I work with Spider-Man. Get on that jet.
- You work for Spider-Man?
- I work with Spider-Man, not for Spider-Man.
- New plan. Into the Tower. STUDENTS: What?
- Happy, are you okay?
- HAPPY: We’re okay. Just get Beck.
- EDITH, target Spider-Man. EDITH: Copy.
- I’ll just kill the kids myself.
- There you are.
- Into the Crown Jewels vault! Yeah, go, go, go! Come on.
- FLASH: Go! HAPPY: Into the vault! The walls are 8 feet thick. Go into the vault!
- What? Into the vault. Go!
- HAPPY: Take cover!
- I see you.
- How does Cap do that?
- Happy, say something, to let me know you’re alive!
- HAPPY: I’m here. I’m here. Happy, thank God.
- I bought us some time, but not much.
- I’m trying to get to Beck, but I can’t shake these drones!
- Gotcha.
- Going up!
- Finally. Hey, William, how we doing?
- Hey, William, how we doing?
- Illusion almost back up.
- I don’t know how you’re gonna spin this.
- Oh, great. No webs.
- Are we gonna die? Nobody dies on my watch.
- I wasted my life playing video games, and we’re gonna die.
- I have a fake ID, and I’ve never even used it.
- I post stupid videos daily for people to like me.
- Hey, if it wasn’t for those stupid videos, Spider-Man would’ve never found you.
- Spider-Man–? Spider-Man follows me? I saved us, guys.
- If you saved us, why are we about to die?
- MJ! Stop it!
- I’m sorry, okay?
- I’m obsessed with telling the truth even if it hurts other people’s feelings.
- I’m in love with Spider-Man’s aunt.
- We’re sharing, right?
- Your lies are over, Beck. [GROANS]
- This certainly isn’t ideal, but I have contingencies.
- EDITH?
- Just give me the glasses.
- You want these?
- Come and get them.
- Come on, Peter-tingle.
- Why aren’t these drones firing?
- EDITH: You’re in the strike zone.
- The chance of getting hit is- No, fire all the drones now!
- Beck!
- Beck.
- You lied to me.
- And I trusted you. I know.
- And I trusted you. I know. That’s the most… d-disappointing part.
- You’re a good person, Peter.
- Such a weakness.
- Stark was right.
- You do deserve them.
- You can’t trick me anymore.
- EDITH, turn off the drones.
- EDITH: Biometric scan complete. Welcome back, Peter.
- EDITH: Biometric scan complete. Welcome back, Peter. Execute all cancellation protocols?
- Just do it. Execute them all. Confirmed.
- Execute them all. Confirmed.
- Give me the spear.
- That’s a halberd. Ahem.
- Thank you.
- How could you do all of this? You’ll see, Peter.
- People, they need to believe.
- And nowadays…
- they’ll believe anything.
- Is he…?
- Is this real?
- EDITH: All illusions are down, Peter.
- FLASH: Whoo! Yeah!
- Hey, where you going?
- MJ. Hey.
- Hey. Hey. Are you okay? I’m okay. Are you okay?
- Are you okay? I’m okay. Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah. Is everybody else okay?
- Yeah, everyone’s okay. [EXHALES]
- What happened? There was just the drones,
- and they were following us, and then they just stopped.
- Was that you? Yeah.
- Did you get him?
- Yeah. Well, I, um…
- Yeah. Well, I, um… brought that.
- In case you needed some help.
- Thanks. [CHUCKLES]
- Anyway, uh, there was this sweaty guy in the tower with us.
- I think he works for you or something.
- He gave me this.
- No. No.
- Oh, MJ, I’m so sorry.
- I had this stupid plan. Peter. I wrote it down, I was gonna buy you this and give it to you in Paris at the top–
- And you kissed me. What? What? Yeah.
- I don’t really have much luck when it comes to getting close to people.
- Um… So I lied.
- I wasn’t just watching you because I thought you were Spider-Man.
- That’s great.
- Black dahlia, like the murder. The murder.
- Black dahlia, like the murder. The murder. Good. Yeah. Heh.
- Sorry it’s broken.
- I actually like it better broken.
- [CHUCKLING] I really like you.
- I really like you too.
- Uh. Okay. I should– [CHUCKLES]
- I should probably get back to the class.
- I’ll go and…
- Yeah. Heh. I don’t know. Heh. Okay.
- Just in case.
- HAPPY: Yeah, no. No, May, you’re right. He did great. He was strong.
- Yeah. I’m glad he stayed too.
- I gotta go.
- I’m glad you’re alive. I guess the coded message worked.
- “Appearances can be deceiving.” Heh. I’m surprised you didn’t just wink in the camera.
- It worked. Because I had serious doubts
- It worked. Because I had serious doubts about Beck from the beginning.
- Not true. He had zero doubts.
- Where’s Parker?
- He’s with a girl.
- I need to speak with him.
- He’ll call you.
- He’ll–?
- Okay. Great.
- Well, he better.
- Or it’s your ass.
- And don’t even think about ghosting me.
- Are you sure no one else has figured it out?
- Yeah, it’s not like anybody really pays attention to you.
- Ouch.
- Except for me.
- Aw. Thanks.
- Don’t be late. I won’t.
- See you later.
- You guys are so cute. Thanks.
- Uh… I was thinking we should all go on a double date or something.
- [IN UNISON] Oh, we broke up.
- No. What? Why?
- Men and women grow apart,
- but the journey they share together will always be a part of them.
- You are so wise. Thank you.
- Hello, Gerald.
- Could Mother not make it?
- PETER: May! I promise you– Ah!
- Oh, he’s here. Don’t give me a ticket.
- Heh. Ah. Ooh. I’m so glad you’re okay.
- No, for real, I’m good. I’m actually really fine.
- Let’s go. Where are your bags?
- Oh, right. They got blown up. Yeah. Heh.
- PETER: I kept my identity pretty guarded this past couple years.
- I faced a lot of deception. And I’m tired of the lies.
- So it’s time for the truth to be out there.
- Are you dating?
- Yes. Not really.
- I think– Summer fling. Yes, that evolves and grows like any other.
- Yes, that evolves and grows like any other.
- I still don’t know where it’s going.
- I still don’t know where it’s going. Open to wherever it might lead.
- Anywhere. On or off. To share it with people…
- Anywhere. On or off. To share it with people… We’ll always be friends, no matter what.
- I’m gonna go because I’ve got a date. HAPPY: …because we all are interconnected.
- Bye. MAY: We are.
- Sorry!
- Whoa!
- Hey. Hey. Sorry I’m late.
- It’s fine. You ready?
- Yeah. You’re gonna love this. Okay! Okay!
- Yeah. I’m just not gonna watch. I’m not gonna watch.
- I should stop looking. I’m gonna stop looking! Heh.
- Okay. You can put me down now! You can put me down now!
- PETER: You okay?
- Whoo! Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.
- Let’s just– Never, never doing that again. I’m never doing that again. Okay.
- I should probably get out of here.
- Be safe. Heh. See you later.
- MAN [OVER LED SCREEN]: This is breaking news.
- We come with revelations about last week’s attack in London.
- An anonymous source provided this video.
- It shows Quentin Beck, aka Mysterio, moments before his death.
- A warning, you may find this video disturbing.
- I managed to send the Elemental through the rift, but I don’t think I’m gonna make it.
- Spider-Man attacked me for some reason. He has an army of weaponized drones, Stark technology,
- saying he’s the only one who’s gonna be the new Iron Man.
- EDITH: Are you sure you want to commence the drone attack? There will be significant casualties.
- PETER: Do it. Execute them all.
- This shocking video was released earlier today on the controversial news website TheDailyBugle.net.
- There you have it, folks,
- conclusive proof that Spider-Man
- conclusive proof that Spider-Man was responsible for the murder of Mysterio,
- an interdimensional warrior who gave his life to protect our planet
- and who will no doubt go down in history as the greatest superhero of all time.
- as the greatest superhero of all time.
- But that’s not all, folks.
- Here’s the real blockbuster. Brace yourselves. You might wanna sit.
- Spider-Man’s real– Spider-Man’s real name is–
- Spider-Man’s name is Peter Parker.
- What the fu–?
- You gotta tell him.
- It was fine.
- The little boy handled it. We helped.
- Talos. Come off it.
- How was I supposed to know that the whole thing was fake?
- I mean, that was all very, very convincing.
- The performances, the illusion, that costume, the craftsmanship in that.
- This is just embarrassing for a shape-shifter. Fine.
- Hey there. I hope your mission is going well.
- We gave the glasses to Parker about a week ago, like you said. And it was very touching, you know?
- And it was very touching, you know? Really, really quite touching.
- Talos.
- Um… And, you know, shortly after that,
- Um… And, you know, shortly after that, it really kind of went off the rails, so we need you to come back.
- Everyone kept asking where the Avengers are, I don’t know what to say to that,
- so you’re lucky that Spider-Man won–
- Everybody back to work!
- Who’s got my shoes?
