- How was the big anniversary dinner?
- Well, we never actually got to dinner.
- Nice.
- We kind of broke up instead.
What?
My God![br]It’s on the ceiling!
- That’s okay.
This is more important than fruit. . .
. . .on my ceiling.
You broke up?
- Yeah, but it’s okay because[br]when Ross left, Mark came over.
- -Oh, no! You and Mark?[
- It’s okay. Calm down.
Mark and I talked. . .
. . .and I realized how much[br]I love your stupid brother.
We got our problems,[br]but I really wanna make it work.
- Morning!
- It’s me. I’ve been trying[br]to reach you all night. I feel awful.
There’s nothing between me and Mark.
This whole breakup thing[br]is just stupid.
I’m sorry I put you through it.
And I don ‘t want to get[br]back together over a machine.
So I love you.
- I love you.
- And you know what?[br]I’m gonna go to bed now…
…but on my way to work tomorrow,[br]I’ll stop by around 8:30. Bye.
- Chloe, how’s it coming?
- What kind of puppy do you think[br]I should get?
- Well, how about a big one?
-But my apartment’s so–[
- Then a small one.
-We have to go.[br]-
- Wait! Where’s my shoes?
- You need shoes?
- -Do I know why we’re rushing?[br]-You know my girlfriend?
It turns out that she wants[br]to get back together.
I found it!
That’s so great for you guys!
You must be so happy!
Yes, I am. One of the many[br]things I’m feeling.
-Good luck with your girlfriend.- Thank you.
-You got my message?[br]-You are right on time!
So can I be your girlfriend again?
Yes, you can. very much.
-Why are you mopping your ceiling?- r]-There’s banana on it.
I have the spirit of an[br]old lndian woman living in mine.
So, then, you know.
The mailman was here,[br]so I brought your mail.
-Oh, good. Thanks.- Now, what is Fabutech?
Don’t judge me too much, okay?
I saw this infomercial,[br]and I swear I have never. . .
. . .bought anything on Tv before.
Except for this mop.
But there was this amazing stuff[br]on leg-waxing–
Waxine!
Yes! Have you seen it?
It’s incredible![br]I want to be a Waxine Girl!
I know!
Do you think it really doesn’t hurt?[br]How can they do that?
Hello! Organic substances recently[br]discovered in the rain forest?
They have the best stuff in there.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
We figured when we couldn’t find you,[br]you’d gone to make up with Rachel.
Which is probably what[br]you should have done.
You think?
God, I’m in hell.[br]I mean, what am I gonna do?
Rachel’s all “I love you,”[br]and all I can think about. . .
. . .is what is she gonna do[br]when I tell her what I did?
First, we should address[br]the more important question. . .
. . .how dumb are you?
Look, we’re trying to[br]rebuild a relationship here, right?
How can I do that[br]without being honest?
I’m onboard about[br]the total-honesty thing. I am.
Just not about stuff that’s[br]gonna get you in trouble.- He’s right. Nobody benefits,[br]and you’ll just hurt her.
And there won’t be a relationship[br]left to rebuild.
Don’t you think–
If you have to tell her,[br]at least wait till the timing’s right.
And that’s what deathbeds are for.
-Yeah, okay.[b- r]-All right.
Okay. Now, we just have to make sure[br]she doesn’t find out some other way.
Did you think about the trail?
- What trail?
- From the woman[br]you did it with. . .
. . .to the woman you hope[br]never finds out you did it!
Always think about the trail!
I don’t think there’s any trail.
Chloe works with that guy, lsaac.
Isaac’s sister is Jasmine, who works[br]at the massage place with Phoebe.
Phoebe is Rachel’s friend,[br]and that’s the trail! I did it!
“After applying the Waxine[br]and linen strips to leg–“
Did that!
“Grasp the linen strip by its tab. . .
. . .and pull it off in one quick,[br]pain-free motion. “
Was it not “pain-free”?
No, it was pain-ful!
My God, they should call it[br]”Pain-zine, now with a little wax. “- The girls on the commercial[br]don’t seem to think it’s that bad.
- Because their nerves are[br]deadened from being so stupid.
But you know, if you don’t[br]believe me, please, be my guest.
- Now are you glad we didn’t start[br]with the bikini strips?
- Chloe, hi.
- Is this about me taking your watch?
- -You took my watch?
- ]-I’m sorry. I do that.
- You keep it. Listen, did you[br]tell anyone about us?
- I feel like it really isn’t[br]anybody’s business.
- Exactly. So you didn’t[br]mention anything to lsaac?
-I tell lsaac everything.
- -You do? Of course you do.
Hi, lsaac.[br]You know, we haven’t actually met.
- You dog!
- Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But see,[br]I happen to have a girlfriend.
- Right. Rachel from the coffee place.
That’s the one.[br]Listen, I don’t want to hurt her.
I know. It doesn’t matter[br]how much we love them.
Monogamy is too cruel a rule.
- Listen, can you keep this[br]information to yourself?
- No problem.[br]We gotta look out for each other.
We’re the same, you and me.
- Actually, no, we’re not.
- Yeah, we are.
- No, we’re not.
Yeah, we are.
- No, we’re not.
-Okay, we’re not.
- Right.
But we are.
Fine. I just need to know[br]that you won’t tell your sister.
- I can promise not to tell her again.
Jasmine? We met at Phoebe’s[br]birthday party. I’m Ross Geller.
- You did a bad thing!
-Yes, I did.
- -very bad!
-very bad.[br]-very, very bad!
- I’m agreeing with you.
Listen, did you happen[br]to tell Phoebe yet?
Please. Please don’t.
I love my girlfriend very much[br]and I want to work it out with her.
- All right.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- But you should talk to my roommate.[br]I told him, and he knows Phoebe too.
- Who’s your roommate?
Tell me you didn’t tell Rachel about[br]me and the girl from the copy place.
- I’m sorry.
Was I not supposed to?
-We’re all right.[br]-It’s okay. It’s okay.
-We were just waxing our legs.[br]-Off?
- For your information, this is a pain[br]like no man will ever experience.
- Unless you’ve been kicked in an area. . .
. . .that God only meant[br]to be treated nicely.
- Women just have a lower threshold[br]for pain than men, that’s all.
I mean, come on,[br]it’s just a little wax.
- Oh, yeah? Come here.
Oh, that’s mature.
- So now I just pull it off?
That’s right.
Just talk to me.[br]Please!
Talk to you?[br]I can’t even look at you right now.
- Nothing. Nothing.
-She said it was okay.[br]-What are they talking about?
- -Just get away from me![
- I made a mistake, okay?
A mistake? What were you trying[br]to put it in? Her purse?
- Where did he put it?
You had sex with another woman!
- Oh, my God!
- I knew something was wrong because[br]my nails didn’t grow at all yesterday.
- I guess they had a fight,[br]and he got drunk–
You guys knew about this[br]and didn’t tell us?
- He has sex and we get hit[br]in our heads!
I want you to leave![br]Just get out! Now!
- I want to stay and talk about this.
All right. How was she?
- -What?
- -Was she good?
- Don’t answer that.
You said you wanted to talk about it.[br]Let’s talk. How was she?
- -She was. . . .[br]-Awful.
-She was not good.[br]-Horrible. Nothing compared to you.
She was different.
Good different?
Nobody likes change.
-Just stop![br]-What? Okay! Okay! Okay!
Should we do something?
Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.
I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.[br]I was disgusted with myself. . .
. . .and this morning[br]I was upset. . .
. . .and then I got your[br]message and I was so happy.
And all I wanted was to get her out[br]of my apartment–
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa![br]Wait a minute.
What time did your[br]little friend leave?
Oh, my God. She was there?[br]She was still there?
She was in there when I was in there?
- Listen, the important thing is[br]she meant nothing to me.
And yet she was worth[br]jeopardizing our relationship!
- I didn’t think there was[br]a relationship.
-We’d broken up.
- We were on a break.
That, for all I knew, could last[br]forever. That is a breakup.
You gonna get out of this[br]on a technicality?
- I’m not trying to “get out”[br]of anything.
I thought our relationship was dead.
- Well, you sure had a hell of a time[br]at the wake.
I don’t think we should listen[br]to this anymore.
What are you doing?[br]We can’t go out.
Why not? I’m hungry.
- Because they’ll know[br]we’ve been listening.
God! And to have to hear about it[br]from Gunther!
- I ran all over the place trying[br]to make sure that didn’t happen!
- Oh, that is so sweet.
I think I’m falling in love with you[br]all over again.
- We can go out. They have[br]other things to worry about.
- We’ll be fine.
Rachel, I wanted to tell you.[br]I thought I should.
And then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to!
Wax the door shut.[br]We’re never leaving.
- It’s Phoebe. Someone has to take[br]my 9:00 with Mr. Rehak. . .
. . .because it’s 9: 1 5 now,[br]and I’m not there.
- None of this would’ve happened[br]if I didn’t think. . .
. . .you were having sex with Mark?
- All right.
Let’s say I had slept with Mark. Would[br]you have been able to forgive me?
Yes, I would.
You’d be okay if Mark had kissed me,[br]and been naked with me. . .
. . .and made love to me?
If you knew that our hot, sweaty,[br]writhing bodies were–
- I would have been devastated. . .
. . .but I would still want[br]to be with you.
Because, I mean, it’s you.
Come on, tell me what you’re thinking.
- I’m thinking. . .
. . .I’m gonna order a pizza.
- Order a pizza, like. . .
. . . “I forgive you”?
- Oh, man!
Pizza?
I like pizza.
Put olives on the pizza.
- We could eat the wax! It’s organic!
- Oh, great. Food with hair on it.
- No, not the used wax.
- Because that would be crazy?
- Could I get in on that?[br]Because I’m kind of hungry myself.
- Fine.
Yes, I’d like to order[br]a large pizza.
- -No anchovies.
- With extra anchovies.
That’s okay.[br]I’ll pick them off.
And could you chop some up[br]and put it right in the sauce?
You can have the last piece[br]if you want.
Well, I should think so.[br]You slept with someone.
- They’re gonna get through this,[br]aren’t they?
Yeah. Come on, it’s Ross and Rachel.
They’ve got to.
- What if they don’t?
- You think I need a new walk?
- What?
- Well, I’ve been walking[br]the same way since high school.
You know how some guys walk into[br]a room and everybody takes notice?
I think I need a take-notice walk.
- Are you actually saying these words?
- What, now you’re not even[br]talking to me?
Look, Rachel, I’m sorry.[br]I’m sorry. I was out of my mind.
I thought I’d lost you.
How insane must I have been[br]to do something like this?
I don’t cheat, right?[br]That’s not me. I’m not Joey!
- It’s 3 a.m. They don’t[br]know that I’ve come home yet.
You notice how they aren’t[br]wondering where I am?
You know, people can be[br]so self-involved.
You know what? I’m not the one[br]that wanted that break.
You’re the one that bailed.[br]You’re the one. . .
. . .that ran the moment things[br]got rough.
-That’s–[br]-That’s what?
-That is neither here nor there.[br]-Here we are. . .
. . .in a spot again.[br]What do you want?
How do you want to handle it?[br]You want to fight for us or bail?
Look, I did a terrible,[br]stupid, stupid thing, okay?
I’m sorry. I wish I could[br]take it back, but I can’t.
I just can’t see us throwing away[br]something we know is so damn good.
I love you so much.
- No, Ross! Don’t!
You can’t just kiss me and[br]make it all go away.
It doesn’t work that way.[br]It doesn’t just make it better.
I think you should go.
- What?
I really think you need to go now.
This morning you said there was[br]nothing we couldn’t work out.
- What the hell did I know?
There’s got to be a way we[br]can work past this.
I can’t imagine my life without you.
Without these arms. . .
. . .and your face and heart. . .
. . .your good heart, Rach, and. . . .
I can’t. You’re a totally[br]different person to me now.
I used to think of you as somebody[br]that would never, ever hurt me.
Ever.
Now I can’t stop picturing[br]you with her.
I can’t. It doesn’t matter what you[br]say or what you do.
It’s just changed everything.
Forever.
This can’t be it.
Then how come it is?
They’ve been quiet for a long time.
- Maybe she killed him.
- Let’s go.
Is that your new walk?
I really have to pee.
