- Flight number 457|from Beijing now arriving.
- Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Excuse me.
Move, move, move!|Emergency, please!
Excuse me, excuse me. - There you are!
So, so…
How was China? You! - It was great.
What happened?
You’re bleeding.|- I am? - Oh, look at that! Yes, I am.
Enough about me,|Mr. Back From The Orient!
Come on, I wanna hear everything!|Everything! - Well, where do I start?
This is Julie.|Julie, this is Rachel. - These are…
These are…
…aren’t for you.
These are for you.
Welcome to our country. - Thank you. I’m from New York.
- No problem. We’ll use them|to stop the bleeding.
Baggage claim?
She went to the airport, and|she’s gonna go for it with Ross.
Oh, my God! This is huge!
This is bigger than huge.|This is…
All right, what’s bigger than huge? - This?
- Guys, you got new haircuts!
Yes, we did.|Thanks to Vidal Buffay. - Because, you know, “If you don’t|look good, we don’t look good.”
I love that voice! - You guys!
Airport. Airport. Ross.
Not alone.
Julie.
Arm around her!
Cramp! Cramp! Cramp! - I think she’s trying|to tell us something.
Quick, get the verbs.
You! You!
You said he liked me!
You!
You slowpokes!- That’s all right.|We got the bags.
This is my sister, Monica.
This is Chandler.
Phoebe, hi.
Joey.
Everyone, this is Julie.
Julie.
But I’m not here,|you haven’t met me.
I’ll make a better impression when|I don’t have 20 hours of plane on me.
And bus.|- Oh, my God!
With the screaming guy…|- And the spitting.
You gotta hear this story.
We’re on this bus|that’s 200 years old.
Two hundred, at least. - And the chicken poops in her lap!
I’m so sorry.
I just gave away the ending, didn’t I?
I just heard this story in the cab…
…and it is all I can think about. - This is amazing.
I mean, how? How did this happen? - Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
- But we haven’t seen each other since then.
- I land in China…
…guess who’s in charge of the dig? - Julie!
Isn’t that great?
Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch,|spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
It’s an expression.
We just wanted to say a quick hi.
Then we’ll see the baby.- |- Then get some sleep.
- It’s 6:00 tomorrow night, our time.
Don’t tell us what’s gonna happen.|I like being surprised.
Bye!
Can I get some coffee?|- Sure.
Did you talk to him yet?|- No.- Then, no.
- What the hell happened to you in China?
When last we left you,|you were in love with, you know. - I know I was.
But there was always this voice|inside that kept saying:
“It’s never gonna happen. Move on.”|You know whose voice that was? - God?
- It was you, pal.
- Maybe it was God doing me.
You were right. She looks at me|and sees a friend. That’s all.
And then I met Julie…
…and we’re having a great time.
I never would have gone for it,|if it hadn’t been for you. - Well, you owe me one, big guy.
Your lemonade.
I didn’t order it.
Then go take that back.|They’ll charge you for that.
Go, go, go! Come on, come on! - So what did you find out?
- He said…
He said…
They’re having a great time.
I’m sorry. - But the silver lining,|if you wanna see it…
…is that he made this decision|all by himself.
Without any outside help whatsoever. - How is that a silver lining?
- You have to really wanna see it.
- Ironically, these guys|were picked last in gym.
- Hey, Pheebs.
You know what I’m thinking?
How…
…it’s been so long|since you’ve had sex…
…you’re wondering|if they’ve changed it? - No. Although now|that’s what I’m thinking.
- So what were you thinking?
- You gave the guys great haircuts.|I thought you’d like to do mine.
- No.
- Why not?
Because I’m just…
I’m incredibly anal and|an unbelievable control freak. - No, you’re not.
- I know I’m not, but you are.
I was trying to spare your feelings.
Hold on.
Ross, Julie for you. - Anybody know a good tailor?
You need clothes altered?
No, I’m just looking for a man|to draw on me with chalk.
Go see Frankie. My family’s|been going to him forever.
He did my first suit when I was 15.
No, wait, 16.
No, excuse me, 15.
All right, when was 1990? - You have to stop the Q-Tip|when there’s resistance!
- Sweetheart, I’ll see you later.
Okay, bye.
That is so sweet.
Okay. No, you hang up.
No, you…
One, two, three.
You didn’t hang up either. - She didn’t hang up.
- No, you hang up.
You. You. - Sorry, I thought|you were talking to me.
Rachel.
I’ll just call her back.
Hi, sweetie. I’m sorry.|We got disconnected.
No, you hang up.
How did this happen to me?
A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine.
Ross was just Ross. Just this guy.
Now all of a sudden, he’s Ross…
…this really great guy|that I can’t have. - Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.
- I know you did.
I’m just gonna deal with it.
I gotta get out of here! - I don’t care what you guys say,|something’s bothering her.
- You know, I think I was 16.
- Please, just a little bit off the back.
- I’m still on “no”.
- Morning.
Could you close your eyes for a sec? - No, no, no. I’m not|falling for that again.
- What’s going on?
I sort of did a stupid thing last night. - What stupid thing did you do?
Why don’t you just go get dressed…
…then you’ll be on your way.|Bye-bye. - How did this happen?
- I kind of ran into him last night.
Where?|- At his apartment.
Is this juice?
And the fact that you dumped him|because he hit on Phoebe? - Oh, God, I know.|I’m pathetic, I’m a loser.
Honey, you’re not pathetic.|You’re just sad. - People do stupid things|when they’re upset.
My God, if I had a nickel|for every guy I wish I hadn’t…
But this is about your horrible mistake.
Sorry we’re late.
We were…
Well, there was touching.
Hey, Ross!
What a…
What are you doing here?
I do Raquel! - So he’s back?
- Yeah, he’s back.|Is that a problem?
No, not a problem.
Good. Glad it’s not a problem. - You’re gonna have to not touch my ass.
Despite the yummy bagels|and palpable tension…
…my pants need to be altered.
When you see Frankie,|tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello.
He’ll know what it means. - You sure he’ll crack that code?
It’s funny. The last time Paolo|was here, my hair was so much cuter.
All right.
But you have to promise that you|will not be all controlly and bossy…
…and all Monica about it. - I promise.
All right, let’s see.
Now, some of you are gonna get cut|and some of you aren’t.
But I promise, none of you|will feel a thing.
That’s it. I quit.|- What? I didn’t say anything!
But this isn’t the face of|a person who trusts a person.
This is the face of|a person who, you know…
…doesn’t trust a person.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
It’s just a little shorter|than what we had discussed.
Would you relax?|I know what I am doing.
This is how he wears it.
How who wears it? - Demi Moore.
Demi Moore is not a “he”.
Well, he was a “he”|in “Arthur” and in “10”.
That’s Dudley Moore!
I said I wanted it like Demi Moore!
Oh, my God!
Oh, God!
Oh, my God! I’m sorry!
Which one is Demi Moore? - She’s the actress that was in|Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost!
- She’s got gorgeous hair.
I know! - How long do you want the cuffs?
At least as long as I have the pants.
I just got that.
Now we’ll do your inseam.
How is she? - It’s too soon to tell.
She’s resting, which is a good sign.
How’s the hair? - I’m not gonna lie to you.|It doesn’t look good.
I put a clip on one side, which seems|to have stopped the curling. - Can we see her?
Your hair looks too good.|It’d upset her.
Ross, you come on in. - Well, how you doing?
I’m okay.
That bad, huh?
Look, I can sense when women|are depressed and vulnerable.
It’s one of my gifts. - Joey, when I saw him|get off that plane with her…
…I really thought|I just hit rock bottom.
But today, it’s like|there’s rock bottom…
…50 feet of crap…
…then me.
Tell Ross how you feel.
Come on, how can I just tell him?|What about Julie?
What about her? They’ve only|been going out for two weeks.
Ross has been in love|with you for 10 years. - I don’t know. I don’t know.
- I’ve been with my share of women.
I’ve been with a lot|of people’s share of women.
But the point is…
…I’ve never felt about anyone|the way Ross felt about you.
Really? - Yo, paisan!
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Your tailor…
…is a very bad man! - What are you talking about?
Hey, what’s going on?
Joey’s tailor…
…took advantage of me.
No way! I’ve been going|to the guy for 12 years.
He said he was gonna do my inseam.
Then he ran his hand up my leg|and then there was definite… - What?
- Cupping.
- That’s how they do pants!
First they go up one side,|they move it over.
Then they go up the other side,|move it back, then they do the rear.
Ross, tell him. Isn’t that|how a tailor measures pants? - Yes, yes, it is.|In prison!
What’s the matter with you? - What?
That’s not?
Oh, my God! - Even Mary Tyler Moore|would’ve been better.
- I like it.
I do. I think it’s a 10! - Thank you.
My hair is very amused.
Come on, things could be worse.
You could “get caught between|the moon and New York City.
I know it’s crazy, but it’s true.” - Thank you.
Well, I gotta go. Bye.
Bye, Rach!
Wait, are you leaving?
That’s what I meant by “bye”.
Can I talk to you for a sec?
When the doctor does|that hernia test…
That’s okay.
What’s going on?
Well, okay, first of all…
…Paolo and I are not back together.
That was a stupid thing I did.
If I could go back in time|and do it again…
…well, I wouldn’t.
Second of all…
What?
Is this one of those things|where you break up with a guy…
…I tell you what I think…
…and the next day|you get back together with him…
…and I look like|a complete idiot?
Well, then, I think the guy’s scum.
I hate him. I mean, I actually…|I physically hate him.
I always have.
And you are way too good|to be with a guy like that.
Really?
You deserve to be with someone|who appreciates you…
…and who gets how funny…
…and sweet and amazing…
…and adorable and sexy you are.
You know? Someone who wakes up|every morning thinking:
“Oh, my God. I’m with Rachel!”
You know? Someone|who makes you feel good.
Like the way I do with Julie.
Was there a “second of all”?
No, I think that was the whole “all”.
I gotta go.
Thanks.
No, I swear to God, Dad!
That’s not how they measure pants!
I was thinking of doing it shorter,|like Andie MacDowell’s haircut.
Yeah, I could do that.|- Really?
You wanna do it now?|- Great!
See you.
I just wanna make|really sure this time.
Andie MacDowell is the girl from|”Four Weddings and a Funeral”, right?
No.
That’s Roddy McDowall.
Andie MacDowell is the guy|from “Planet of the Apes”.
Thank you.|- You’re welcome.
- どうしよう やだわ どいて!緊急事態よ!
- 探したわ まったくもう 中国はどうだった?
- 良かったよ その傷は?
- 何から話そう
彼女はジュリー
レイチェルだ - この花はあげないわ
あなたにあげる
アメリカへようこそ
彼女はジュリ - ありがとう。 私はNY出身よ。
- なら止血に使うわ
荷物取りに行く? - 兄の胸に飛び込みに空港へ行ったわ
- 信じられない 大ニュースね 大よりデカいのは?
- 髪切ったの?
- フィービー先生の作品だ
- プロの仕事に妥協はない あのCM好き
- 空港
ロス
横っ腹 横っ腹 - 連想ゲームだ
動詞(verbs) - あんたが余計なこと言うから
まったく この
のろまね
…aren’t for yo - 荷物のせいだ
…aren’t - 挨拶は改めて
20時間の空の旅で今日はボロボロだし - バスの旅も
- 最低
- 唾飛ばしてね
- 話してやって
- ひどいバスに乗ったの
- おんぼろだ
- 鶏が彼女にフンを
ごめんね オチ言っちゃった
タクシーの中で聞いて面白かったからつい - 驚いたわ
何で知り合いに? - 卒業以来会ってなかったのに
発掘の責任者がなんと - 中国じゃ 今6時だ
- コーヒーを
- 了解
- 探った
- まだ
- じゃあ ダメ
- 中国で何が?
前は彼女に夢中だったろ? - でも声がした
「あきらめて前進しろ」って僕に言うんだ
誰の声か分かるな - 神様?
- 君だよ
- 俺は神の化身だ
- 確かに彼女にとって僕はただの友達だ
でもジュリーとはうまくいった
君の忠告のおかげで積極的になった - 恩に着ろよ
- レモネードよ
- 頼んでない
- 返さないと請求されるわ
早く行って - 何か情報探った?
- ロスの話じゃ交際はうまくいってるって
残念だ
- エッチはご無沙汰なの 最近の傾向を教えて
- それも知りたいけどね
- じゃあ 何の話?
- 2人みたいに私の髪も切って
- 断る?
- 何で?
- だって… 口うるさい
- {6290}{6382}I’ll make a better impression when|I don’t have 20 hours of plane on me.
- {6388}{6440}- And bus.|- Oh, my God!
{6446}{6497}- With the screaming guy…|- And the spitting.
{6503}{6539}You gotta hear this story.
{6545}{6601}We’re on this bus|that’s 200 years old.
{6607}{6637}Two hundred, at least.
{6643}{6726}And the chicken poops in her lap!
{6859}{6903}I’m so sorry.
{6909}{6958}I just gave away the ending, didn’t I?
{6964}{7020}I just heard this story in the cab…
{7026}{7151}…and it is all I can think about.
{7171}{7242}This is amazing.
{7242}{7269}How did this happen?
{7275}{7314}We were in grad school together.
{7320}{7398}We haven’t seen each other since then.|I land in China…
{7404}{7448}…guess who’s in charge of the dig?
{7454}{7518}Julie!
{7521}{7563}Isn’t that great?
{7569}{7715}Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch,|spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
{7729}{7790}It’s an expression.
{7799}{7852}We just wanted to say a quick hi.
{7858}{7922}- Then we’ll see the baby.|- Then get some sleep.
{7928}{7973}It’s 6:00 tomorrow night, our time.
{7979}{8096}Don’t tell us what’s gonna happen.|I like being surprised.
{8177}{8244}Bye!
{8474}{8537}- Can I get some coffee?|- Sure.
{8543}{8582}- Did you talk to him yet?|- No.
{8588}{8657}Then, no.
{8922}{8981}What the hell happened to you in China?
{8987}{9068}When last we left you,|you were in love with, you know.
{9074}{9101}I know I was.
{9107}{9180}But there was always this voice|inside that kept saying:
{9186}{9298}”It’s never gonna happen. Move on.”|You know whose voice that was?
{9304}{9353}God?
{9359}{9413}It was you, pal.
{9419}{9500}Maybe it was God doing me.
{9503}{9605}You were right. She looks at me|and sees a friend. That’s all.
{9611}{9660}And then I met Julie…
{9666}{9711}…and we’re having a great time.
{9717}{9826}I never would have gone for it,|if it hadn’t been for you.
{9854}{9922}Well, you owe me one, big guy.
{9928}{9953}Your lemonade.
{9959}{10022}I didn’t order it.
{10028}{10103}Then go take that back.|They’ll charge you for that.
{10109}{10204}Go, go, go! Come on, come on!
{10223}{10282}So what did you find out?
{10288}{10320}He said…
{10326}{10398}He said…
{10438}{10492}They’re having a great time.
{10498}{10553}I’m sorry.
{10559}{10623}But the silver lining,|if you wanna see it…
{10629}{10703}…is that he made this decision|all by himself…
{10709}{10797}…without any outside help whatsoever.
{10803}{10857}How is that a silver lining?
{10863}{10964}You have to really wanna see it.
{11063}{11151}Ironically, these guys|were picked last in gym.
{11157}{11193}Hey, Pheebs.
{11199}{11279}You know what I’m thinking?
{11359}{11397}How…
{11403}{11465}…it’s been so long|since you’ve had sex…
{11471}{11556}…you’re wondering|if they’ve changed it?
{11562}{11679}No. Although now|that’s what I’m thinking.
{11682}{11720}So what were you thinking?
{11726}{11845}You gave the guys great haircuts.|I thought you’d like to do mine.
{11851}{11901}No.
{11907}{11927}Why not?
{11933}{11975}Because I’m just…
{11981}{12062}I’m incredibly anal and|an unbelievable control freak.