- -Does everybody hate these shoes?[br]-Yeah.
But nobody will focus on that[br]if you wear that towel-dress.
Tell him.
It’s her first day at this new job.[br]You shouldn’t start with her.
All right.[br]I suppose I can wait a day.
-What are you doing Friday?[br]-Why?
Come to my weird cousin Albert’s[br]bachelor party.
You know, he’s the botanist?
Oh, God!
Botanists are such geeks.
Is that a dinosaur tie?
Morning!
Rach, I’m here with the purses!
It must take you forever[br]to find your keys.
Thank you, Pheebs.
You’re welcome. Please want the one[br]with the turtles.
No, turtles scare me.[br]I don’t need that today.
Honey, just relax.[br]It’s gonna be fine.
Why don’t I come[br]and take you to lunch?
Thank you![br]But Mark’s taking me out.
Mark? ls that the same Mark[br]that helped you get the job?
It’s like a “good luck on your[br]first day” thing.
Is this a lunch box?
No, a purse.[br]And there’s a thermos in it.
-So can you make it on Friday?[br]-What?
I think so.[br]Why am I invited to this again?
Apparently, Albert has no friends.
He’s excited about the bachelor party.
He’s only getting married[br]so he can see a stripper.
A stripper at a bachelor party.[br]That is so clich�.
Why don’t you guys get a magician?
If he can open my beer[br]with his butt-cheeks, then all right.
The One With All the Jealousy
Czech Subtitles and Rip by[br].:staz:. (staz@post.cz)
She’s having lunch with him?[br]Lunch with him?
You should’ve seen him hug her[br]when she got the job!
And he’s really good-looking.
-What am I gonna do?[br]-You don’t do anything.
Keep it inside.[br]Learn how to hide your feelings.
Don’t cry out loud.
Guess who has an audition[br]for a Broadway musical?
I wanna say you, but it seems like[br]such an easy answer.
It is me!
It’s a musical version[br]of A Tale of Two Cities.
So I think I’m gonna sing[br]”New York, New York” . . .
. . .and “I Left My Heart[br]in San Francisco. “
Joey, I don’t think[br]you get to pick the cities.
What?
Mr. Dickens gets to pick them.
Who?
I’ll get you the Cliff Notes.
The what?
The abridgment.
The what?
Then the style number. . .
. . .the invoice number[br]and the shipping date.
Good. Any questions so far?
What kind of discount do we get?
Twenty percent.
I love this job!
-My first call![br]-Here, let me.
Rachel Greene’s line.[br]May I help you?
Hi, is Rachel there?
-And who may I say is calling?[br]-This is Ross.
Ross of. . .?
Of “Ross and Rachel. “
Hi, it’s Mark.
-Hey, Mark.[br]-Hey.
Hold on a second.[br]It’s Ross.
Hi, honey.
What’s Mark doing[br]answering your phone?
Oh, he’s just goofing around.
Oh, that’s funny.
Why isn’t he goofing around[br]in his own office?
This is his office too. I told you,[br]we’re Joanna’s two assistants.
Why does Joanna need two assistants?
How lazy is she?
Oh, my God! What did I just do?
I just shipped 3000 bras to Personnel!
I gotta go![br]Mark, I need you!
Okay! Bye-bye!
I’m sorry, sweetie.[br]I was just trying to–
I was dialing another number.
I got changed in 30 seconds[br]so you could be alone with him.
You better go for it.
I’m not going for anything.
Well, if you don’t, I will.
Would you please go?
‘Night, Mon.
‘Night, Julio.
Someone left their book here.
Actually, that is mine.
What are you reading?
Flowers of Evil, by Baudelaire.[br]Have you read it?
Have I read it?
No. Are you enjoying it?
I thought I would,[br]but the translation’s no good.
You’re a poet[br]and you don’t know it.
Actually, l. . . .
I am a poet.
So you do know it.
So what kind of things[br]do you write about?
Things that move me:
The shadow of a tree. . .
. . .a child laughing. . .
. . .or this lip.
Mine?
Right here?
I could write an epic poem[br]about this lip.
How would that go?
Well, it didn’t rhyme. . .
. . .but I liked it.
You’ve got to pick a pocket or two…
…boys
You’ve got to pick a pocket…
…or two
Lovely.
Just lovely.
Really? Thanks.
We definitely want to see you[br]for the callback on Saturday.
Excellent!
I’ll be there.
Don’t forget to bring your jazz shoes[br]for the dance audition.
My agent said that[br]it wasn’t a dancing part.
All the roles gotta dance a little.
But with your dance background,[br]it’ll be a piece of cake.
“Three years of modern dance[br]with Twyla Tharp”?
“Five years with[br]the American Ballet Theatre”?
Everybody lies on their r�sum�, okay?
I wasn’t one of[br]the Zoom kids either.
Well, can you, like, dance at all?
Yeah, I can dance.[br]You know. . . .
What is that?
Sure, it looks stupid now.[br]There’s no music playing.
I have to get that.[br]But, no, no.
Hi.
Listen, I’m in need of a stripper[br]and I was told that you do that.
Let me ask you this. What do you do[br]for the extra hundred?
So would I have to provide the grapes?
Hi.
How was last night[br]with Julio, se~norita?
It was amazing. He’s sexy and smart,[br]which makes him even sexier.
Last night we were fooling around. . .
. . .and all of a sudden he stops[br]to write a poem.
Get out! I couldn’t stop[br]if a meteor hit me.
We have our stripper,[br]a “Miss Crystal Chandelier. “
Name a kid that, what do you[br]expect them to grow up to be?
But he forgot[br]to take the poem with him.
I am totally dense about poetry,[br]but I think this is pretty good.
Check it out.
“The Empty vase.[br]Translucent beauty–“
To yourself.
You know, that’s pretty good.
Yeah, I think so too.[br]Phoebe?
Great![br]I’m so glad you guys like it!
-I gotta go to work.[br]-I’m not done.
Give it back when[br]you’re through.
-See you guys.[br]-Bye-bye.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God![br]Poor Monica!
What? What? What?
He was with her[br]when he wrote this poem!
“My vessel so lovely,[br]with nothing inside”?
“Now that I’ve touched you,[br]you seem emptier still”?
He thinks Monica’s empty.[br]She’s the empty vase!
You really think he meant that?
Totally.
Oh, God![br]And she seems so happy too.
Done.
Do you have the Ralph Lauren file?
Oh, yeah, sure! It’s right–
What’s that?
It’s from Ross. It’s a Love Bug.
Somebody wants people to know[br]you have a boyfriend.
That’s not what he’s doing.
He’s just really romantic.
Excuse me. Are you Rachel Greene?
One, two, three.
Congratulations on your first week[br]At your brand-newjob
It won ‘t be long[br]Before you’re the boss
And you know who will be there[br]To support you
Your one and only boyfriend
It’s nice to have a boyfriend!
Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross!
I’m hurt![br]I’m actually hurt. . .
. . .that you’d think I’d send those[br]things out of anything but love.
Hurt!
All right, I get it. You’re hurt!
Can’t a guy send[br]a barbershop quartet. . .
. . .to his girlfriend’s office anymore?
Oh, please![br]It was so obvious. . .
. . .Iike you were marking[br]your territory.
You might as well have just come in[br]and peed around my desk!
I would never do that.
Look, I know what’s going on here.
Mark explained it all to me.[br]He said this is what you guys do.
Well, if Mark said that,[br]then Mark’s an idiot.
Mark’s a genius.
Why? How?[br]How is he a genius?
Don’t you see what’s happening?
Instead of hitting on her now,[br]he’s becoming her confidante.
Now he’s gonna be the guy she goes to,[br]to complain about you.
What am I gonna do?
Why don’t you send her a musical bug?
No, you already did that.
You’re gonna have to go[br]there yourself now.
Make a few surprise visits.
I don’t know, guys.
Fine, don’t do anything.[br]Sit and talk to us.
Meanwhile, she is talking[br]to him about you.
And he’s being Mr. Joe Sensitive.
She’s thinking, “Maybe he’s the guy[br]for me because he understands me. “
And before you know it,[br]she’s with him.
And you’ll be all, “Oh, man! “
And he’ll be all, “Yes! “
And us, we’ll be like, “Oh, dude! “
And pretty soon you’ll be like:
“Hi. “
And, “Well, I can’t go.[br]Rachel and Mark might be there. “
And we’ll be like, “Man, get over it![br]It’s been four years! “
He paints quite a picture,[br]doesn’t he?
Here’s the Shelley Segal stuff[br]for December.
Wait, I’ve got something for you.
It’s okay. Rachel knows.
Yeah, but even so–
I can’t help it.[br]I’m just crazy about you.
Oh, that is so sweet!
I know I’m Mr. Inappropriate today,[br]but it’s just so tough.
I see you walking around,[br]and I want to touch and hold you. . . .
Come on, no one’s around.[br]Just kiss me.
All right, that’s it![br]Get off of her!
What is going on?
What’s going on?[br]I’ll tell you what’s going on!
I have been down in your store[br]for 20 minutes, trying to get a tie.
What do I have to do[br]to get some service?
Hi, Rach.
Joey Tribbiani?
I’ve got a problem.
I just got a call[br]from my dance captain.
He’s having a relationship crisis[br]and can’t leave Long lsland.
Does that mean the audition’s off?
Seeing as you’ve got[br]the most experience. . .
. . .I want you to teach these dancers[br]the combination.
What?
Come on, it’s easy.[br]You know, it’s hand, hand. . .
. . .head, head. . .
. . .up, pas de bourr�e,[br]pas de bourr�e. . .
. . .big turn here, rond de jambe. . . .
Slide, step, step. . .
. . .and jazz hands!
So that’s, “Steppity-step[br]and jazz hands. “
Have fun.
Bye.
What are you wrapping?
Look what I got Julio.
It’s a vase.
Just like the one in the poem.
Not exactly like[br]the one in the poem.
What do you mean?
Remember how you said you were[br]really dense about poetry?
So I’m just an empty vase?
What?
So, I don’t read as many[br]important books as you do.
And I don’t write trick poems[br]that aren’t about what they seem.
And I get excited about[br]stupid stuff. . .
. . .Iike when my[br]People magazine comes. . .
. . .and the new[br]”Hold Everything” catalog.
But that doesn’t mean I’m empty. I[br]care about things. Friends and family.
You have no right to judge me![br]You don’t even know me!
The poem is not about you.
What?
“The Empty vase” is not about you.
My baby preciosa….
You make me so sad[br]that you would think this.
I’m sorry. It’s. . . .
My friend Phoebe said–
It’s about all women.
Well. . .
. . .all American women.
You feel better now?
All right, let’s do it.
What was that?
It’s the best[br]I could get out of them.
Well, people!
People, people, people!
Let’s try it again. And this time,[br]everybody watch Joey.
Show ’em how it’s done.
Count it off, Mack.
Did you have fun at[br]the bachelor party last night?
Look what I got![br]See, she’s dressed, right?
And then you click it,[br]and uh-oh, she’s naked!
And then you click it again[br]and she’s dressed.
She’s a business woman[br]walking down the street.
She’s window shopping,[br]and oh, she’s naked!
I’m gonna spend some alone time[br]with the pen.
I’m sorry. I was an idiot.
A big idiot.
A big idiot.
It’s just,[br]you have to realize. . .
. . .this Mark thing is hard for me.
Why is it hard? We’ve been together[br]for almost a year now.
Well, I was with Carol[br]for, like, eight years.
And I lost her.
And now, if it’s possible,[br]I think I love you even more.
So it’s hard for me[br]to believe I’m not gonna. . .
. . .well, that someone else isn’t[br]gonna take you away.
Let it be me. Let it be me!
Honey, that’s very sweet.
It just seems to me, though,[br]that if two people love each other. . .
. . .and trust each other,[br]like we do. . .
. . .there’s no reason to be jealous.
I
gotta get going.
Bye, Chandler.
This pen’s getting kind of boring.[br]Can you pick me up some porn?
Where you going?
I’ve gotta go pick up Ben[br]for a play-date this afternoon.
With who?
Just this woman I met last night[br]at the party.
There was a woman at–?
The stripper?
You have a play-date with a stripper?
Man, I gotta get a kid!
We started talking[br]after she did her thing. . .
. . .and she’s got a boy[br]about Ben’s age.
So we’re gonna take the kids[br]to a Gymboree class.
-Is that okay?
Sure. Is she married?
Are you jealous?
I just don’t see why she has[br]to play with you.
I mean, doesn’t she have any other[br]stripper-mom friends of her own?
You are totally jealous!
I’m not jealous.
This is about. . .
. . .people feeling certain things. . .
. . .you know, about. . .
. . .strippers. And, you know. . . .
I love you too.
Bye.
Wait, wait, wait!
What?
Well, there’s a kiss he won’t forget[br]for a few hours.
Either that or you just turned him on[br]and sent him to a stripper.
Is there a Julio here?
I am Julio.
Mr. Pretentious
You think there’s no one finer[br]Your poems are unpublished
And you work in a diner
You’re no God’s gift to women[br]That’s all in your head
You are just a butt-munch
No one likes a butt-munch!
And you’re also bad in bed
- -Does everybody hate these shoes?[br]-Yeah.
But nobody will focus on that[br]if you wear that towel-dress.
Tell him.
It’s her first day at this new job.[br]You shouldn’t start with her.
All right.[br]I suppose I can wait a day.
-What are you doing Friday?[br]-Why?
Come to my weird cousin Albert’s[br]bachelor party.
You know, he’s the botanist?
Oh, God!
Botanists are such geeks.
Is that a dinosaur tie?
Morning!
Rach, I’m here with the purses!
It must take you forever[br]to find your keys.
Thank you, Pheebs.
You’re welcome. Please want the one[br]with the turtles.
No, turtles scare me.[br]I don’t need that today.
Honey, just relax.[br]It’s gonna be fine.
Why don’t I come[br]and take you to lunch?
Thank you![br]But Mark’s taking me out.
Mark? ls that the same Mark[br]that helped you get the job?
It’s like a “good luck on your[br]first day” thing.
Is this a lunch box?
No, a purse.[br]And there’s a thermos in it.
-So can you make it on Friday?[br]-What?
I think so.[br]Why am I invited to this again?
Apparently, Albert has no friends.
He’s excited about the bachelor party.
He’s only getting married[br]so he can see a stripper.
A stripper at a bachelor party.[br]That is so clich�.
Why don’t you guys get a magician?
If he can open my beer[br]with his butt-cheeks, then all right.
The One With All the Jealousy
Czech Subtitles and Rip by[br].:staz:. (staz@post.cz)
She’s having lunch with him?[br]Lunch with him?
You should’ve seen him hug her[br]when she got the job!
And he’s really good-looking.
-What am I gonna do?[br]-You don’t do anything.
Keep it inside.[br]Learn how to hide your feelings.
Don’t cry out loud.
- Guess who has an audition[br]for a Broadway musical?
I wanna say you, but it seems like[br]such an easy answer.
- It is me!
It’s a musical version[br]of A Tale of Two Cities.
So I think I’m gonna sing[br]”New York, New York” . . .
. . .and “I Left My Heart[br]in San Francisco. “
Joey, I don’t think[br]you get to pick the cities.
- What?
Mr. Dickens gets to pick them.
Who? - I’ll get you the Cliff Notes.
The what?
The abridgment.
The what?
Then the style number. . .
. . .the invoice number[br]and the shipping date.
Good. Any questions so far?
What kind of discount do we get?
- Twenty percent.
- I love this job!
-My first call![br]-Here, let me.
Rachel Greene’s line.[br]May I help you?
Hi, is Rachel there?
-And who may I say is calling?[br]-This is Ross.
Ross of. . .?
Of “Ross and Rachel. “
Hi, it’s Mark.
-Hey, Mark.[br]-Hey.
Hold on a second.[br]It’s Ross.
Hi, honey.
What’s Mark doing[br]answering your phone?
Oh, he’s just goofing around.
Oh, that’s funny.
Why isn’t he goofing around[br]in his own office?
This is his office too. I told you,[br]we’re Joanna’s two assistants.
Why does Joanna need two assistants?
How lazy is she?
Oh, my God! What did I just do?
I just shipped 3000 bras to Personnel!
I gotta go![br]Mark, I need you!
Okay! Bye-bye!
I’m sorry, sweetie.[br]I was just trying to–
I was dialing another number.
I got changed in 30 seconds[br]so you could be alone with him.
You better go for it.
I’m not going for anything.
Well, if you don’t, I will.
Would you please go?
‘Night, Mon.
‘Night, Julio.
Someone left their book here.
Actually, that is mine.
What are you reading?
Flowers of Evil, by Baudelaire.[br]Have you read it?
Have I read it?
No. Are you enjoying it?
I thought I would,[br]but the translation’s no good.
You’re a poet[br]and you don’t know it.
Actually, l. . . .
I am a poet.
So you do know it.
So what kind of things[br]do you write about?
Things that move me:
The shadow of a tree. . .
. . .a child laughing. . .
. . .or this lip.
Mine?
Right here?
I could write an epic poem[br]about this lip.
How would that go?
Well, it didn’t rhyme. . .
. . .but I liked it.
You’ve got to pick a pocket or two…
…boys
You’ve got to pick a pocket…
…or two
- Lovely.
Just lovely.
- Really? Thanks.
We definitely want to see you[br]for the callback on Saturday.
- Excellent!
I’ll be there.
- Don’t forget to bring your jazz shoes[br]for the dance audition.
My agent said that[br]it wasn’t a dancing part.
All the roles gotta dance a little.
But with your dance background,[br]it’ll be a piece of cake.
“Three years of modern dance[br]with Twyla Tharp”?
“Five years with[br]the American Ballet Theatre”?
- Everybody lies on their r�sum�, okay?
I wasn’t one of[br]the Zoom kids either.
Well, can you, like, dance at all?
- Yeah, I can dance.[br]You know. . . .
- What is that?
Sure, it looks stupid now.[br]There’s no music playing.
I have to get that.[br]But, no, no.
Hi.
Listen, I’m in need of a stripper[br]and I was told that you do that.
Let me ask you this. What do you do[br]for the extra hundred?
So would I have to provide the grapes?
- Hi.
- How was last night[br]with Julio, se~norita?
It was amazing. He’s sexy and smart,[br]which makes him even sexier.
Last night we were fooling around. . .
. . .and all of a sudden he stops[br]to write a poem.
Get out! I couldn’t stop[br]if a meteor hit me.
We have our stripper,[br]a “Miss Crystal Chandelier. “
Name a kid that, what do you[br]expect them to grow up to be?
But he forgot[br]to take the poem with him.
I am totally dense about poetry,[br]but I think this is pretty good.
Check it out.
“The Empty vase.[br]Translucent beauty–“
To yourself.
You know, that’s pretty good.
Yeah, I think so too.[br]Phoebe?
Great![br]I’m so glad you guys like it!
-I gotta go to work.[br]-I’m not done.
Give it back when[br]you’re through.
-See you guys.[br]-Bye-bye.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God![br]Poor Monica!
What? What? What?
He was with her[br]when he wrote this poem!
“My vessel so lovely,[br]with nothing inside”?
“Now that I’ve touched you,[br]you seem emptier still”?
He thinks Monica’s empty.[br]She’s the empty vase!
You really think he meant that?
Totally.
Oh, God![br]And she seems so happy too.
Done.
Do you have the Ralph Lauren file?
Oh, yeah, sure! It’s right–
- What’s that?
It’s from Ross. It’s a Love Bug.
Somebody wants people to know[br]you have a boyfriend.
That’s not what he’s doing.
He’s just really romantic.
- Excuse me. Are you Rachel Greene?
One, two, three.
Congratulations on your first week[br]At your brand-newjob
It won ‘t be long[br]Before you’re the boss
And you know who will be there[br]To support you
Your one and only boyfriend
It’s nice to have a boyfriend!
Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross!
I’m hurt![br]I’m actually hurt. . .
. . .that you’d think I’d send those[br]things out of anything but love.
Hurt!
All right, I get it. You’re hurt!
Can’t a guy send[br]a barbershop quartet. . .
. . .to his girlfriend’s office anymore?
- Oh, please![br]It was so obvious. . .
. . .Iike you were marking[br]your territory.
You might as well have just come in[br]and peed around my desk!
- I would never do that.
Look, I know what’s going on here.
Mark explained it all to me.[br]He said this is what you guys do.
Well, if Mark said that,[br]then Mark’s an idiot.
Mark’s a genius.
Why? How?[br]How is he a genius?
Don’t you see what’s happening?
Instead of hitting on her now,[br]he’s becoming her confidante.
Now he’s gonna be the guy she goes to,[br]to complain about you.
What am I gonna do?
Why don’t you send her a musical bug?
No, you already did that.
You’re gonna have to go[br]there yourself now.
Make a few surprise visits.
I don’t know, guys.
Fine, don’t do anything.[br]Sit and talk to us.
Meanwhile, she is talking[br]to him about you.
And he’s being Mr. Joe Sensitive.
She’s thinking, “Maybe he’s the guy[br]for me because he understands me. “
And before you know it,[br]she’s with him.
And you’ll be all, “Oh, man! “
And he’ll be all, “Yes! “
And us, we’ll be like, “Oh, dude! “
And pretty soon you’ll be like:
“Hi. “
And, “Well, I can’t go.[br]Rachel and Mark might be there. “
And we’ll be like, “Man, get over it![br]It’s been four years! “
He paints quite a picture,[br]doesn’t he?
Here’s the Shelley Segal stuff[br]for December.
Wait, I’ve got something for you.
It’s okay. Rachel knows.
Yeah, but even so–
I can’t help it.[br]I’m just crazy about you.
Oh, that is so sweet!
I know I’m Mr. Inappropriate today,[br]but it’s just so tough.
I see you walking around,[br]and I want to touch and hold you. . . .
Come on, no one’s around.[br]Just kiss me.
All right, that’s it![br]Get off of her!
What is going on?
What’s going on?[br]I’ll tell you what’s going on!
- I have been down in your store[br]for 20 minutes, trying to get a tie.
What do I have to do[br]to get some service?
Hi, Rach.
Joey Tribbiani?
I’ve got a problem.
I just got a call[br]from my dance captain.
He’s having a relationship crisis[br]and can’t leave Long lsland.
Does that mean the audition’s off?
Seeing as you’ve got[br]the most experience. . .
. . .I want you to teach these dancers[br]the combination.
What?
Come on, it’s easy.[br]You know, it’s hand, hand. . .
. . .head, head. . .
. . .up, pas de bourr�e,[br]pas de bourr�e. . .
. . .big turn here, rond de jambe. . . .
Slide, step, step. . .
. . .and jazz hands!
So that’s, “Steppity-step[br]and jazz hands. “
Have fun.
Bye.
- What are you wrapping?
Look what I got Julio.
It’s a vase.
Just like the one in the poem.
Not exactly like[br]the one in the poem.
What do you mean?
Remember how you said you were[br]really dense about poetry?
So I’m just an empty vase?
What?
So, I don’t read as many[br]important books as you do.
And I don’t write trick poems[br]that aren’t about what they seem.
And I get excited about[br]stupid stuff. . .
. . .Iike when my[br]People magazine comes. . .
. . .and the new[br]”Hold Everything” catalog.
But that doesn’t mean I’m empty. I[br]care about things. Friends and family.
You have no right to judge me![br]You don’t even know me!
The poem is not about you.
What?
“The Empty vase” is not about you.
My baby preciosa….
You make me so sad[br]that you would think this.
I’m sorry. It’s. . . .
My friend Phoebe said–
It’s about all women.
Well. . .
. . .all American women.
You feel better now?
- All right, let’s do it.
What was that?
It’s the best[br]I could get out of them.
Well, people!
People, people, people!
Let’s try it again. And this time,[br]everybody watch Joey.
Show ’em how it’s done.
Count it off, Mack.
Did you have fun at[br]the bachelor party last night?
Look what I got![br]See, she’s dressed, right?
And then you click it,[br]and uh-oh, she’s naked!
And then you click it again[br]and she’s dressed.
She’s a business woman[br]walking down the street.
She’s window shopping,[br]and oh, she’s naked!
I’m gonna spend some alone time[br]with the pen.
- I’m sorry. I was an idiot.
A big idiot.
A big idiot.
It’s just,[br]you have to realize. . .
. . .this Mark thing is hard for me.
Why is it hard? We’ve been together[br]for almost a year now.
Well, I was with Carol[br]for, like, eight years.
And I lost her.
And now, if it’s possible,[br]I think I love you even more.
So it’s hard for me[br]to believe I’m not gonna. . .
. . .well, that someone else isn’t[br]gonna take you away.
- Let it be me. Let it be me!
- Honey, that’s very sweet.
It just seems to me, though,[br]that if two people love each other. . .
. . .and trust each other,[br]like we do. . .
. . .there’s no reason to be jealous.
I - gotta get going.
Bye, Chandler.
This pen’s getting kind of boring.[br]Can you pick me up some porn?
- Where you going?
I’ve gotta go pick up Ben[br]for a play-date this afternoon.
- With who?
Just this woman I met last night[br]at the party.
- There was a woman at–?
The stripper?
- You have a play-date with a stripper?
Man, I gotta get a kid!
We started talking[br]after she did her thing. . .
. . .and she’s got a boy[br]about Ben’s age.
So we’re gonna take the kids[br]to a Gymboree class.
-Is that okay? - Sure. Is she married?
- Are you jealous?
I just don’t see why she has[br]to play with you.
I mean, doesn’t she have any other[br]stripper-mom friends of her own?
- You are totally jealous!
I’m not jealous.
This is about. . .
. . .people feeling certain things. . .
. . .you know, about. . .
. . .strippers. And, you know. . . .
- I love you too.
Bye.
Wait, wait, wait!
What?
- Well, there’s a kiss he won’t forget[br]for a few hours.
Either that or you just turned him on[br]and sent him to a stripper.
- Is there a Julio here?
- I am Julio.
Mr. Pretentious
You think there’s no one finer[br]Your poems are unpublished
And you work in a diner
You’re no God’s gift to women[br]That’s all in your head
You are just a butt-munch
No one likes a butt-munch!
And you’re also bad in bed
