- All right, they got water,[br]orange juice. . .
. . .and what looks like cider.
Taste it.
Yeah, it’s fat.
I drank fat!- I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Hey, Mr. Tux.
-Why aren’t you dressed?[br]-We have a half-hour.
That was four minutes ago.[br]We have to be out the door at 7:40.
Relax, we’ll be ready. It takes us[br]two minutes to get dressed.
I’d feel better if you[br]got dressed now.
-Okay.[br]-Okay.
- Oh, look at you. All sexy.
Really?
-How come you didn’t come over earlier?[br]- - Because I’ m a stupid, stupid man.
- Hey, Ross, want some cider?
- No.
So you’ re pretty close, huh?
Makeup’s on. Hair’s done.
- I just have to get dressed.
And that takes, what?[br]Just 6 or 7 minutes?
Yeah. Once I figure out[br]what I’ m wearing.
- Glass of fat?
What’s the matter?[br]You nervous about your speech?
Nope.
-You wanna hear it?[br]-Am I in it?
After I thank everyone[br]for donating to the museum. . .
. . .I sing a song about the wonder[br]that is Joey.
- Hello! You look great!
Thank you. I know, though.
You see this? This is a person[br]who is ready to go.
Phoebe, you. . . .
You are my star.
- Well, you’ re my lucky penny.
- All right, I took the quiz. And it[br]turns out I do put career before men.
Get up.
- What?
- -You’ re in my seat.[br]-How is this your seat?
I was sitting there.
- But then you left.
Well, it’s not like I went to Spain.
I went to the bathroom.[br]You knew I’d be back.
What’s the big deal?[br]Sit somewhere else!
- The “big deal” is I was sitting[br]there last! So. . .
. . .it’s my seat.
- Well, actually, the last place[br]you were sitting was in there, so. . . .
- You guys, you know what?[br]It doesn’t matter.
You both have to go get dressed before[br]the big vein in my head pops.
I just have to do one thing.[br]It’s not a big deal.
Get up!
Phoebe, you look great!
- All right already.
Are you gonna do magic?
That’s funny. Change.
- -Hang on, I just got in.[br]-I don’t care.
It starts at 8.[br]We can’t be late.
“He could not, would not,[br]want to wait. “
Our table is down in front.[br]My boss will be there.
Everyone will see if we arrive[br]after it starts.
- Has somebody been drinking my fat?
Does this look like something a[br]paleontologist’s girlfriend would wear?
I don’t know.[br]You might be the first one.
- -Rach, did you check the machine?[br]-No.
Wait. This is the outfit that makes[br]my calves look fat. Never mind.
- Well, Joey, I wrote[br]a little song today.
It’s called, “Get up! “
- All right. You can have the chair.
-Really?[br]-Oh, my. Would you look at that?
It’s me, I’m coming over.
What if I’m already there[br]when you play this message?
Is that too spooky?
Hi, Rach, are you there?[br]It’s me. Pick up.
Rachel? Rach?
- What?
- Never mind.
- Monica, it’s Richard. Call me.
Is that message old or new?
Old or new? Old or new?
It’s definitely old.[br]Didn’t you hear the double beep?
What if it’s new?[br]We agreed not to talk.
It could be important.[br]Shouldn’t I call him back?
Honey, you did call him back.[br]It’s old.
- Yeah, see, Mon, listen. Listen.
When Carol and I broke up. . .
. . .I went through the same thing.[br]You know what I did?
I got dressed.
Really, really quickly, okay? Okay?
There we go. There we go.
- You know what? Don’t get up.[br]Just sit there.
I just hope you don’t mind[br]my hand right here.
Not touching. Can’t get mad![br]Not touching. Can’t get mad!
Not touching. Can’t get mad!
- Oh, my God!
You rotten boys!
-Sorry, Phoebe. - What am I gonna do?
Don’t rub it![br]What gets out hummus?
What gets out hummus?
Monica![br]What gets out hummus?
If it is a new message,[br]what is he calling to say?
- Okay, thanks. Yeah, I’ll try that.
- Maybe he called to say[br]you’ re obsessive and crazy?
-So should I call him back?[br]-No!
No!
-Fine, we’ll both sit in the chair.[br]-Fine with me.
I am so comfortable.
Me too.
In fact, I think I might be[br]a little too comfortable.
Okay, we have 1 9 minutes.[br]I want you to go and change.
When you come back, Joey will go change[br]and he’ll have vacated the chair.
-Okay.[br]-All right.
Fine. I’ m going.
When I get back, it’s Chair City.[br]And I’ m the guy. . .
. . .who’s sitting in a chair!
Is this a little too–
Pheebs? What happened?
I got the hummus.
Oh, honey, we’ll find you something.[br]You wanna wear my black jacket?
-It won’t go with this dress.[br]-You’ re right.
-Well, let’s just get you out of that.[br]-No, no, no. Not “out of that. “
-Not “out” of clothes.[br]-Can Phoebe borrow your green dress?
I called him.
Yes. I got his machine[br]and I left a message.
But it’s okay. It’s okay. . .
. . .because it was, like,[br]a casual, breezy message.
It was breezy.
Oh, God, what if it wasn’t breezy?
How could it not be breezy? No.[br]Because you’ re in such a breezy place.
I got it. I’ll play my message and[br]you guys tell me if it’s breezy enough.
But how you gonna do that?
I know the code[br]to his answering machine.
Okay, Mon, I really don’t think[br]this is the–
Okay, you’ re dialing.[br]You are dialing.
Hi, this is Richard.[br]Please leave a message at the tone.
You have two new messages.
What a cool job.
“You have two new messages. “
Please pass the pie.
Hi, it’s Monica.[br]I’m just checking in.
I got a message and didn’t know[br]if it was old or new.
So I’m just checking.
So let me know.
Or don’t. Whatever.
I’m breezy!
You can’t say you’ re “breezy. “[br]That negates the “breezy. “
Hola. It’s me.[br]Yesterday was really fun.
Call me about this weekend, okay?
Now, she sounded breezy.
He’s seeing someone.[br]I can’t believe he’s seeing someone.
-You don’t know that.[br]-Well, whose voice was that?
Maybe it was his sister’s.[br]Maybe it was his daughter’s.
Michelle. Of course![br]Did it sound like Michelle?
Oh, great. It’s starting to rain.[br]That’ll make it easier to get a cab.
It was Michelle.
It was definitely Michelle.
Try Monica’s green dress. If it[br]doesn’t fit, wear my gray silk one.
-Unless I wear it.[br]-You don’t know what you’ re wearing?
I’ m just trying to look nice[br]for your big night.
Yeah, which we have to leave for[br]in 1 2 minutes.
Come on, I’ll just pick[br]something out for you.
You’ll notice that I’ m fully dressed.
I, in turn, have noticed[br]that you are not.
So in the words of A.A. Milne,[br]”Get out of my chair, dill-hole. “
Okay.
-What are you doing?[br]-You said to give you the chair.
You didn’t say anything about cushions.
They’ re the essence[br]of the chair!
That’s right! I’ m taking the essence.
Oh, he’ll be back.
Oh, there’s nobody in the room.
-I’ m sorry, I thought it looked pretty.[br]-That was a Halloween costume.
Unless you would like me to go[br]as Little Bo Peep.
I didn’t recognize it[br]without that inflatable sheep.
Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler,[br]I would like back one of these days.
Rach, good! Listen, isn’t this[br]perfect for me?
Oh, it’s perfect! But not for tonight.
Of course, not for tonight.[br]Hi. I’ m going to a benefit.
Not for tonight?[br]What are you doing?
No, I’ m sorry. We didn’t mean it.[br]I love you. Breathe.
We used them as pillows[br]when we went camping.
What?
The sheep.
Hey, what you do on your own time. . . .
Where’s my underwear?
-Come on, you took his underwear?[br]-He took my essence!
Okay, hold on. Why can’t you just wear[br]the underwear you’ re wearing now?
Because I’ m not wearing[br]any underwear now.
Then why do you have[br]to wear underwear tonight?
It’s a rented tux, okay?
I’ m not gonna go commando[br]in another man’s fatigues.
Then somebody’s gonna have[br]to give somebody back his cushions.
Okay. You hide my clothes, I’ m gonna[br]do the exact opposite to you.
What, are you gonna show me my clothes?
Hey, opposite. . .
. . .is opposite.
He’s got nothing!
Okay, I’ m ready.
Rachel didn’t have anything I liked[br]but this ribbon.
I thought, all right,[br]I’ll be political.
-What are you supporting?[br]-Christmas.
Hey, that’s okay with me. Two down,[br]and I have exactly 1 2 minutes–
What?
My watch stopped.[br]My watch. Okay, see. . .
. . .the dinosaur tail[br]isn’t going around anymore.
What time is it? It’s 7:33.[br]I have 7 minutes.
I have seven minutes!
Which shoes should I wear?[br]The black or the purple?
-Just pick one, okay?[br]-Oh, okay, okay. The black.
Do you have black[br]with little strappies?
Yeah. But those go better with pants.[br]Maybe I should wear pants.
Yeah, pants! What an idea![br]Or better yet, go without pants.
I don’t know what you’ re doing,[br]but just get in there. . .
. . .and pick out any shoes[br]that fit your feet.
I don’t care if they match.[br]I don’t care if they make. . .
. . .your ankles or your knees or your[br]earlobes look fat. Just do it!
Go in there, pick something out[br]so we can go.
-All right.[br]-Thank you.
I’ve got to call Michelle to see[br]if that was her voice.
It was. It was her voice.
Monica, I think you’ve gone over[br]to the bad place.
Hola.
Hello? Hello?
-Okay. That was her, right?[br]-Definitely. Yeah.
So there you go.
We’ re out of the woods.[br]I think I’ll get dressed now.
-I’ll get it.[br]-Okay.
Hi, Monica and Rachel’s.
Yeah, just a second.[br]Can I ask who’s calling?
It’s Michelle!
She must have that “caller l.D. ” thing.[br]You should get that.
Michelle?
Yeah, that was me.[br]I dialed your number by mistake.
Just try to be–
You’ re so sweet.
Yeah, we were a great couple.
I know, I really miss him.
Well, you know how it is.[br]It’s just that. . . .
You know what’s weird?
Donald Duck never wore pants.
But when he gets[br]out of the shower. . .
. . .he always puts a towel[br]around his waist.
I mean, what is that about?
I only beeped in so I could[br]hear my own message.
I mean, that’s allowed.
I would really appreciate it if you[br]wouldn’t tell your dad about–
What do you mean, you don’t feel[br]comfortable with this? We’ re friends!
That bitch always hated me.
I’ m calling her back.
-Okay, fine.[br]-Okay.
-She’s got a phone in there, right?[br]-Okay, we’ re on it.
I know it says “black tie optional” . . .
. . .but this may be pushing it a little.
I’ m not gonna go.
You’ re not gonna go?
No, I think I’ m gonna catch up[br]on my correspondence.
How can you not be going?
I’ m not gonna go.
So I think that will accomplish[br]the “not going. “
You know, just out of curiosity–
Ever since I was humiliated[br]and yelled at in front of my friends. . .
. . .I’ m just, I don’t know, not in a[br]very museum benefit-y kind of mood.
Right. Well, okay. Okay.[br]God, I’ m sorry. I’ m sorry I yelled.
-That’s fine.[br]-No, but you’ re mad.
I’ m not mad. I’ m just not going.
-Right.[br]-Okay.
You know that I have to go, right?
So is it gonna be, like,[br]I’ m abandoning you while you’ re upset?
-No.[br]-No?
-You’ re not upset about the yelling.[br]-Right. And the humiliating.
Well, of course, the humiliating.
So we. . .
. . .we’ re okay?
-We’ re good.[br]-Right.
-Honey? I love you.[br]-Yes, Ross.
Get away from that phone!
She’s just getting dressed now.
Is it wrong that I was[br]totally aroused by that?
Okay, buddy boy, here it is.
You hide my clothes,[br]I’ m wearing everything you own.
Oh, my God!
That is so not the opposite[br]of taking somebody’s underwear!
Look at me! I’ m Chandler.
Could I be wearing any more clothes?
Maybe if I wasn’t going commando. . . .
It’s hot with all this stuff on.
I better not do any,[br]I don’t know, lunges.
Okay, enough.[br]Enough with the lunging.
I’ m sick of this.[br]I’ve had it up to here.
Neither of you can come to the party!
Jeez, what a baby!
Way to ruin it.[br]I was just gonna go get dressed.
The only person[br]I cared about getting dressed. . .
. . .is the person who’s[br]not even gonna go.
Look, Rach, I’ m sorry, okay?
Look, I was a jerk, okay?[br]I’ m sorry I yelled. I want you there.
I need you there.
What can I do to show you[br]how much I want you to be there?
You could drink the fat.
Welcome to an adult conversation.
No, no, no.[br]Now wait a minute. Wait a minute.
-That actually sounds interesting.[br]-What?
I think you should drink the fat.
Okay, if that’s what it takes to[br]show you how much you mean to me. . .
. . .and how much I want you there,[br]that’s what I’ll do.
Let me get you another glass.[br]That’s been sitting out.
I think this will be fine.
Okay, vanilla milkshake.[br]Just a vanilla milkshake. . .
. . .with chicken bits floating in it.
Cheers.
No, don’t! Okay, okay, I’ll go.[br]I’ll go.
You will?
You were really gonna do that.
Well, yeah.
You were gonna drink the fat.
Let’s see what else he’ll do!
How about you get changed?[br]Give him his underwear.
I’ll get a cab. I want everyone[br]downstairs in two minutes.
Monica!
Stop it.
Stop it!
Ross went to get a cab, so we–
What are you doing? No, Monica, no!
Hi, this is Richard.
You have three new messages.
Not anymore.
Message erased.
To record your message,[br]begin speaking at the tone.
Hi, Richard. It’s Monica.
Listen, I did something[br]kind of crazy tonight.
Maybe I’ m getting my period[br]or something. I don’t know.
Anyway, I beeped into your machine[br]and I heard this message. . .
. . .that freaked me out. . .
. . .and Michelle will tell you the rest.
I’ m sorry, okay? And I hope that we[br]can just forget the whole thing.
Your outgoing message[br]has now been changed.
Outgoing?
Did that say outgoing?
Not outgoing!
Hi, Richard, it’s Monica.
Listen, I did something[br]kind of crazy tonight.
Maybe I’m getting my period[br]or something. I don’t know.
-How did you do that?[br]-I don’t know!
Goodbye.
Okay, I’ve got two cabs[br]and no people! Go, go, go!
Maybe we can call the phone company[br]to change the message?
They could change his number.
I think after this,[br]he’ll be doing that himself.
Rachel!
You. . . .[br]You look. . . .
And I still have about[br]five seconds to spare.
That was about 7 seconds.
So we’ re a little late.
Come on.
Oh, and by the way. . . .
What?
I’ m going commando too.
Dr. Geller?
-Sherman Whitfield, London lnstitute.[br]-What a pleasure.
I was quite impressed with your[br]paper on pre-Cretaceous fossils.
Yes. It confirmed everything[br]I’d written.
Excuse me.
Hi.
Yes?
You’ re kind of sitting in my seat.
What do you mean, your seat?
-I mean, I was sitting there.[br]-But you got up.
But I never left the room.
But you left the chair area.
All right, that’s it.[br]Give me your underwear.
- Can’t get mad :怒ることができない
“It was an accident, so I can’t get mad.”
（それは事故だったから、怒ることはできないよ。） - obsessive :「強迫的な」や「執着した」という意味です。何かに対して極度にこだわったり、考えすぎたりする状態を表します。
He has an obsessive need to check his phone every few minutes.”
（彼は数分おきに携帯を確認する強迫的な必要性がある。） - pretend :「どうりで〜だ」
