- Whose idea was it to put[br]everybody in the diner on skates?
Some idiot customer put a suggestion[br]in the suggestion box.
-Oh, my God! They took my idea![br]-That was you?
Okay, there you go.
Rachel, I made you cocoa.
Oh, that’s so. . . .
Oh, my God! Are you guys okay?
Oh, my.
The One With a Chick and a Duck
Subtitles and Rip by[br].:staz:. (staz@post.cz)
You know, with that goatee,[br]you kind of look like Satan.
So that’s why the priest[br]threw holy water on me.
You have to cheer up.
You should come out with Ross and me.
Anything is better than sitting[br]here crying all day about Kate.
I was crying because[br]nobody believed Quincy’s theory.
I’m gonna be on Tv!
No way!
They’re putting together a panel[br]to talk about the fossils in Peru.
The Discovery Channel’s filming it!
Oh, my God![br]Who’s gonna watch that?
Thanks. You ready to go?
I saw a girl with that vest.
Thanks.
Most of us think of chocolate and[br]baskets as traditional Easter gifts.
Some people insist on[br]giving live chicks as presents.
Unfortunately, most of these guys[br]won ‘t live to see the 4th of July.
As a result of improper care,[br]they will be dead.
You guys got any of those baby chicks?
I was watching this commercial on Tv,[br]and, man, those things are cute!
Pete, you’re back![br]Hey, check this out!
Skates!
You’re sturdier than Chandler.[br]He crumbled like a piece of paper.
How was your trip?
What’d you bring me?
Hotel toiletries from Japan!
These are gonna go[br]in my permanent collection.
-Want some coffee?[br]-That’d be great.
Regular or decaf?
Whichever’s closest.
-Ask me what I did today.[br]-What did you do today?
I bought a restaurant[br]and I’d like you to be the chef.
Can you believe he[br]offered me a restaurant?
What a jerk.[br]You want me to kick his ass?
It’s been my dream since[br]I got my first Easy-Bake Oven. . .
. . .and opened Easy-Monica’s Bakery.
I would kill for this job.[br]I can totally do this job. . .
. . .and God knows, I’ve paid my dues.
But Pete’s doing this[br]because he has a crush on me.
And you’re still not[br]attracted to him at all?
How could I accept a restaurant[br]from him? I can’t.
I couldn’t accept a necklace[br]from Stu vincent in the 7th grade.
But, Mon, that was totally different.[br]He was your health teacher.
What, honey?
My side hurts from when[br]you crashed into me.
Oh, God, I’m so sorry.
Oh, God!
Hey, you guys. Guess what?
Got a job on a riverboat?
I didn’t wear this suit for a year,[br]because you hated it.
You’re not my girlfriend[br]anymore, so: : : :
I see. This suit is making a point.
Now that you’re on your own, you’re[br]free to look as stupid as you’d like.
You like it, right?
I like it even more on you[br]than I did on Colonel Sanders.
Ross, I’m kidding. Come here.
What were you gonna tell us?
Was it how you[br]invented the cotton gin?
So after you put the suggestion[br]in the box. . .
. . .how long did it take[br]for it to happen?
About three months.
So I guess that’s about two weeks[br]before the topless thing kicks in.
I got you something.[br]Open it! Open it!
It’s a chicken.
It’s cute, huh?
You guys? Do you know[br]anything about chicks?
Fowl? No.
Women? No.
They are a huge responsibility.
Especially at this age.[br]They require constant care.
They need just the right food[br]and lots and lots of love.
Well, no problem there.
Easy, Lenny.
So, I mean, have you thought about it?
Okay, here’s the thing.
Not “the thing. “[br]I hate “the thing. “
What’s “the thing”?
I can’t do it.
I’m sorry. I wish I could. . .
. . .but you have these feelings for me.
That’s what you’re worried about?
If that’s the problem,[br]we’ve got no problem.
I was gonna tell you over dinner,[br]but I met somebody else, on my trip.
Her name’s Ann. She’s a journalist.[br]We met on the plane.
She wanted to finish off[br]my peanuts.
I thought she said something else.[br]We had a big laugh.
I got tired of waiting.
That’s great. I’m sorry,[br]but I’m so happy for you.
-Now I can work for you![br]-I guess you can.
Oh, my God! This is incredible!
You know what? I’m gonna roll[br]right into that office and quit!
All right!
Could you give me a little push?
Good luck!
I’m quitting!
I’m okay! I’m all right!
That’s exciting.[br]You went to Japan, made up a woman.
What?
I’m just saying, this “woman,”[br]I mean, she’s fictitious, no?
-Why would you say that?[br]-You’re still into Monica.
You said there’s somebody else[br]so she’d work with you.
If you spend time together,[br]maybe something might happen.
You’re good. You’re good.
No, I’m fairly intuitive. And psychic.
It’s a substantial gift.
Can you promise me[br]that you won’t tell her?
Absolutely. I promise.[br]Tell her what?
Thanks a lot.
No, I’m serious.[br]I’m intuitive, but my memory sucks.
Okay, but this is the last time.
With a chick-chick here[br]And a chick-chick there
Here a chick, there a chick[br]Everywhere a chick-chick
Chicken….
How’s she doing?
She?
Don’t you think it’s a she?
I don’t know.
I can’t tell. Whatever it was[br]went back in too quickly.
I gotta change. I’m meeting[br]some of the cast for drinks.
Excuse me?
What?
I stayed home while[br]you were at rehearsal. . .
. . .so somebody could be here[br]with our chick.
Who was up from 2:00 this[br]morning until 5:00. . .
. . .trying to get her back to sleep?
You don’t think I get up[br]when you get up?
Oh, here it comes.
Yes! Here it comes![br]I’m stuck here all day!
And then you come in[br]and spend two seconds with us. . .
. . .and then expect to go off[br]gallivanting with your friends?
Well, I don’t think so, mister!
I need to relax, okay?[br]I was working all day.
And you don’t think[br]taking care of our chick is work?
That’s not what I said.[br]I just meant–
I know what you meant!
Did you notice that ever since[br]we got this chick. . .
. . .we’ve been fighting[br]a lot more than we used to?
I don’t know, maybe we weren’t[br]ready to have a chick.
I’ll take her back tomorrow.
We’ll get our $3 back?
I have that Tv thing in two hours,[br]and I need your help.
What do you think?[br]This blue suit or this brown one?
The brown one brings out your eyes.
But your butt looks great[br]in the blue one.
Really?
That aspirin dance really works.
-Is that still. . .?[br]-I’m fine.
-No, you’re not![br]-Yes, I am.
Look, I’m fine.[br]Watch. Look at that.
You’ve got to go to a doctor, okay?
I have to get ready and go[br]to a dinner at my boss’s house.
There’s people there[br]that I have to meet.
I’m sure you’ll make a great[br]impression. “Hi, I’m Rachel.
It’s nice to meet you. “
Come on, you probably[br]have a broken rib.
I’ll go to the hospital tomorrow.[br]It’ll still be broken then.
But you know, I could use a hand[br]getting ready.
Either help me, or go.
Fine. I’ll go.
But before you go,[br]could you help me first?
Sure. I’ll help you.
Good! Do you guys know how[br]to get a chick out of a vCR?
You know what?[br]I cannot do this with my left hand.
Would you please help me[br]with this too?
Let’s use this brush.
-This stuff?[br]-Careful.
Light.
Just sweep it across the lid.[br]Just sweep it.
Sorry!
That’s just poking me in the eye.
I’m sorry. Close. . . .
-Just sweep it.[br]-I’m sweeping.
Sweep, sweep. . . .
Now make it even,[br]because we don’t. . . .
I don’t want it to be too much.[br]I want it to be subtle.
You don’t wear enough of this.
Since when do you think[br]I don’t wear enough of this?
Close your eye.[br]You’re gonna like this better. . . .
-Close, close.[br]-Blow it.
Because I think this will make you[br]a little more sophisticated.
Sophisticated like a hooker?
-Guess what I’m doing tonight.[br]-What?
I’m checking out[br]the restaurant with Pete.
Monica, I am so excited for you!
I have to tell you something.
What?
I can’t tell you.
Wouldn’t it be easier to tell[br]me something that you could tell me?
Well, sure, in a perfect world.
But no. I promised I wouldn’t tell,[br]and I swore to all my Gods.
Does it have to do with[br]Ross and Rachel?
Does it have to do with Joey?
Does it have to do with Chandler[br]and that sock he keeps by his bed?
No, but let’s come back to that later.
There you go![br]Good enough for your party?
Sure.
Sure. I’ll just sit next to[br]the transsexual from purchasing.
All right, I gotta go,[br]So good luck at the party.
Could you just stay[br]and help me get dressed?
Sure.
Great. Okay, just turn around.
What?
I don’t want you to see me naked.
I’ve seen you naked a million times.[br]I ate hot fudge off you naked.
I sucked that mini-marshmallow[br]out of your bellybutton.
Yeah, but that was different.[br]We were going out then.
Now it’s weird.
Rach, you know, I can see[br]you naked anytime I want.
What?
All I have to do is close my eyes.[br]See?
Ross, stop that!
Come on! Don’t think of me[br]like that anymore.
Sorry. Nothing you can do about it.
It’s one of my rights[br]as the ex-boyfriend.
Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
I’m sorry. It will never happen–
Wait a minute! Wait, wait. . . .
Now there are 1 00 of you,[br]and I’m the king!
Would you grow up? It’s no big deal.
All right. Fine.
See what you did?[br]I’m gonna be doing it by myself now.
Oh, my God. All right, look, look. . . .
Easy. Easy.[br]You have to go to the hospital, okay?
I do. I really do.
I’ll get your coat,[br]then I’ll put you in a cab.
You’re not gonna come with me?
Of course I am.
I just have to make a call.
Thank you.
What’s wrong?
I’m sorry. I just can’t go[br]to the hospital looking like this.
Does it involve travel?
Does it involve clogs?
Clogs or claws?
Clogs.
Claws?
So it doesn’t involve Ross or Rachel[br]or Chandler or Joey.
What about Pete?
What is it?
-What about Pete?[br]-I don’t know!
I feel like I’m talking to Lassie.
-Phoebe, would you just tell me?[br]-I can’t!
-I gotta go.[br]-But you’re so close!
Something to do[br]with Pete’s company?
Go! You’ll never get it!
I know.
See, yes. That’s Yasmine Bleeth.
She’s a completely different[br]kind of chick.
I love you both.
But in very different ways.
What are you doing?[br]You were gonna take her back.
I did. But the store[br]wouldn’t take her back.
Then I took her to the shelter.[br]You know what I found out?
If they can’t find a home for her,[br]they kill her!
I won’t let that happen[br]to little Jasmine.
Good, good, because I was[br]kind of having second thoughts too.
And it’s not just chicks.[br]It’s all kinds of other animals.
That’s horrible.[br]You did the right thing.
Thanks. I’m glad[br]you see it that way.
Funny story!
I don’t believe this!
Look at this refrigerator![br]It’s gigantic!
I could live in this thing![br]I’d be cold, but I’m always cold!
Oh, my God! Look at these spider[br]burners! I love spider burners!
So you like it?
It is so perfect![br]Thank you so much.
You’re welcome.
Did you just smell my hair?
No! No way! What?
-Oh, God.[br]-What?
You still have feelings for me.
I’m just excited about the restaurant,[br]that’s all.
I love you. Is that so bad?
No, it’s not bad.[br]It’s not bad at all.
It’s really nice.
The only one who stands to get hurt[br]is me, and I’m okay with that.
You may be okay with getting hurt. . .
. . .but I am not okay with being[br]the one who hurts you.
That’s why I can’t take this job.
What?
We probably shouldn’t[br]see each other anymore.
I’m sorry.
I mean, if that’s[br]really what you want, okay.
I’m sorry things–
Shut up for a second[br]and let me just see something.
You’d tell me the truth?
Rach, you can’t look fat in an x-ray.
Now you stay out here[br]and you think about what you did!
-That’s a duck![br]-That’s a bad duck!
How’d the thing go tonight, Ross?
What thing? What thing?
Nothing. There was this thing[br]at the museum. Come on.
Easy.
Now, when you come back, I hope you[br]remember that that chick is not a toy!
What “thing”? What is this “thing”?
I was kind of supposed to be on Tv[br]tonight for the Discovery Channel.
Oh, my God!
Ross, why didn’t you tell me that?
I knew that if I told you,[br]you’d make me go. . .
. . .and I knew you needed someone[br]to be with you tonight. Come on.
-I cannot believe you.[br]-What?
That is the sweetest thing.
You should get some sleep.
Sorry I spoiled your evening.
As long as you’re okay.
So I’ll see you tomorrow.
See you.
What did you do?
What you doing?
Having a swim.
What about the chick?
Chicks don’t swim.
Are you sure?
I don’t know.
-Should we try?[br]-Sure.
See, I told you.[br]They don’t swim.
Well, give him a minute.
It’s okay.[br]It’s okay, baby, baby, baby.
- 店でスケート
- 客が意見箱に出した案よ
- 私の意見だわ
- いくわよ
- レイチェル ココアだ
- 2人とも大丈夫？
- いいねえ
- 髭面で悪魔みたい
- 神父に聖水かけられたよ
いいかげん元気出せよ - 俺が泣いてたのは
ドクター・クインシーがピンチだから - テレビに出る
- マジ？
- ペルーで発見された化石について討論する番組
- すごいな誰が見るんだ？
- 出かけるか？
- ベストがゲイっぽい
- ありがと
- 復活祭のギフトにウサギのチョコ
しかしほとんどは
原因は世話を - お宅ヒヨコの店？
テレビで見てたら欲しくなっちゃった - 帰国したのね見てて
- スケート？
- チャンドラーなら崩壊してるとこよ
出張は？
お土産？
日本のホテルの洗面用具
コレクション入り
コーヒーは？
レギュラー？ - 近いのを
- 何の話？
- レストランを買った
君を雇う - 私が料理長だって
- ピートは浅はかね
- 昔パン屋さんごっこで店を持った時以来の夢よ
その夢のために巨乳にまでして頑張ってきた
でもピートは私目当てよ - その気なし？
- 私はダメ
店はもらえない
中一の時ネックレスも返した私よ - あれは贈り主が先生だった
- 大丈夫？
- 昨日ぶつけたところがまだ痛むの
- ごめんね
- ニュースがある
- 遊覧船の船員？
- 君が嫌ってたスーツだが別れたから出して着た
- スーツでフリー宣言ね
バカにみられる自由もある - モニカは？
- 好きよ
カーネルサンダーズよりマシだわ
兄さん冗談よ
ニュースって何？ - 布から手で織ったの？
- さよなら
- 意見してからスケート採用までの期間は？
- ３ヶ月かな
- じゃ2週間後に俺のトップレス案も採用だ
- 買ってきた
開けて - ヒヨコだぞ
- かわいいだろ
- 扱い方知ってるの？
- 鶏なら知らないが
女なら 知らない - 責任重大よ
ヒヨコのうちは目が離せないわ
エサと愛情を与えないと - 大丈夫でちゅよ
- 気味悪いぞ
- 考えてくれた？
- 悪いけど
- 悪いことは嫌だ
でも何？ - 残念だけどお断りするわ
ごめんね
私情が絡むと - 待ってよ
そんな気兼ねはいらない
実を言うと出張中に恋人ができた
アンって人で機内で出会った
ピーナツをせがまれて別の意味かと
君は諦めた - よかった
あなたが幸せならうれしい
仕事も受けられる - 遠慮なしだ
- すごい
夢みたい
早速ここを辞めてくるわ
押して - 頑張れ
- 辞めるわ
全然平気 - うまいわね
日本で話を考えたの？ - アンは架空の人物でしょ？
- なぜ？
- まだモニカを好きだから店を持たせてそのうちモノにする魂胆よ
- 鋭いね
- 勘が鋭いの
霊感も
才能よね - 任せて
任せて
何の話？ - 本当に忘れちゃった
- これで最後
さあ一緒にピヨピヨ - お嬢は？
- お嬢？
- さあね
一瞬何か見えたけど - これから役者の飲み会だ
- なんだって？
- 俺は一日面倒見てた
今度はお前の番 - 俺は夜中の2時から5時まで寝かしつけた
- 俺だって起きてた
- 始まった
- そうだ悪いか
帰ってきても2秒しか相手してくれない
しかも仲間と遊びに？
ひどすぎる - 気分転換だ
仕事で疲れてる - この子の世話も仕事よ
- 俺が言いたいのは
- 分かってるわ
子育てを始めてからケンカしてばかりね - 俺達には重荷だ
- 明日返すわ
- 代金は戻る？
- 2時間後にテレビ出演だ
どっちの服がいい？
紺のスーツか茶か - 茶は目の色に合うが紺はケツが締まる
- ホント？
- アスピリンだけにスピン上手
- まだ痛む？
- 平気よ
- ウソだ
- ほら見てて
- 病院に行った方が良い
- これから上司の家で食事よ
大事な顔合わせなの - 好印象だろうね
レイチェルです よろしく
骨折かもよ - 骨折なら明日検査しても骨折よ
- 嫌なら帰って
- 帰るよ
- その前に手伝って
- 分かった
- ビデオから鳥を出す方法は？
- 左手じゃ化粧できないわ
これもお願い - ブラシを交換よ
- 塗るの？
- 少しね
- まぶたにサッとひと塗りでいい
- ごめん
- 目つぶし？
- 閉じて
- サッとね
- ムラにしないで
薄く伸ばしてほしい - 足りないくらいだ
- 厚化粧が好きなわけ？
- もう少し塗ったほうが
閉じて - 吹いて
- このくらいが洗練されてる
- お出かけよ
店の下見に - ワクワクするわね
その前に話が
やっぱ言えない - 難しく考えず言ってみれば？
- きれいごとね
言わないって誓ったもの - ロスとレイチェルの話？
じゃジョーイ？
チャンドラーの枕元にある靴下 - その話
- できた
パーティー向きだ - なかなかね
これなら仕入部のおかまに対抗できる - 僕は行くよ
じゃ - いいよ
- じゃ
- 裸になるの
- 君の裸なんて
- 別れたのに
- 君の裸なら
- 目を閉じるだけで
- やめて
- ごめんよ
でもこれは元彼氏 - 分かった
- 分かったわ
- 落ち着いて
今すぐ病院 - 一緒に来て
- いいよ
まず電話 - どうした？
- この顔じゃ行けない